** A train of thought stemming from my last post.
This is something that i have thought on, off and on for a while. It kind of baffles me at times to be truthful. But then everyone has a slightly different idea of what that is I think, there in lies the problem with labels. They can be useful for a start but can often confuse things when you get into the nitty-gritty of it all.
The idea that I’m supposed to strive for the same calm, squishy feeling that i feel when we are together and playing or whatever, ALL the time seems unrealistic to me and frankly odd. Submissive to my husband and sexually ‘on’ is one part of my being, but it’s not ALL i am.
My mood and energy changes throughout the day depending on where i am and what i’m doing. It changes and floats from one part of my personality to another depending on my need at any given time. Sitting patently awaiting guidance is not a helpful mindset when i’m dealing with the issues that arise on a daily basis around here when He’s not home and i’m at the helm.
I am a warrior in life, i tap into that energy more than any other to be honest and it has served me well. I don’t apologize for that and i have no need to change it either. Most of my day is spent being strong and in control, and i like it! ‘Submissive’ is not the thing the world sees and i think that’s the way it should be.
We have the right and probably the need, to pick and choose what energy we bring to each situation and that’s not denying any part of ourselves. I don’t believe it’s like that at all. I believe it’s simply tapping into the different strengths that we possess and using them when needed.
The trick is learning how to switch gears when it’s time be His submissive again. Turning off my mind and sitting quietly, even if it is in my head, and being just His. To me this is nothing more than practicing mindfulness and learning to be in the moment. This part i have no problem with. Fortunately or unfortunately my life has taught me to live in the moment.
For some that feeling of being submissive may work in all aspects of your life but for some of us it doesn’t. I think that is just fine. We all need to find the balance that works for us, and here personally, that is not the mindset i strive for on an all day basis.
I’m not missing anything and I have no need to fault myself for not being ‘submissive’ all the time. That’s not who I am and that’s not who He wants anyway. I’m not denying any part of my personality and need, not even the strong parts, just because I have chosen to be His submissive wife.
The last post was more geared towards starting my day being sexually charged and wanting to play but by days end, the energy is gone and the sexy, flirty bunny just wants to cuddle, rest and get warm!