No, It’s not sweet ….

I can’t do anything without the first and main thought being about how it is going to affect Him ….

I can’t *not* think about Him in every decision i make.

Sounds cute and sweet, i know, but it’s not.

I *can’t* get excited about anything unless He seems pleased and excited too …

Sounds perfect except that He does not say much and His excitement levels are not obvious. He thinks they are, but they are not to me. Not the way I register excitement anyway ….

It’s in everything i do and every move i make. It has been for many, many years now. It’s a bit disturbing actually, psychologically speaking.

No, there is nothing wrong. I was just looking around trying to figure out if i wanted to change things and redecorate a bit and then my mind went straight to ‘what would he like’. even though i know he really doesn’t care too much and He likes everything i do anyway.

Thinking of Him first ‘so much’ tends to complicate things that shouldn’t be complicated. It’s not good enough He likes it, He needs to ‘really like it’ for my brain to be okay with it. See … not so cute after all.

He consumes my every thought ….

I like philosophical and intellectual looks at life and times. If you are out there friend and feel up to it, I do miss our ‘conversations’. I haven’t wanted to tax your mind with emails, or mine with calls. LoL Figures doesn’t it? *chuckle* Can’t be too easy ….

 

2 thoughts on “No, It’s not sweet ….

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