Don’t know if I’m explaining this in a way that makes sense to anyone else but these words are for me. To get them out of my head and to remind myself of what the truth is, for me.
The battle between submissive to Him and being my dominant self is in my head.
The tones of voice are the same. The actions and reactions outwardly look the same. The words chosen are the same ….. the patience, the manners and the acceptance of His decision, all are the same!
I think a comment made just a bit ago on one of my posts says it all. The difference is being a partner and not just along for the ride. Sharing responsibility not just depending on the other to solve it all …
When nothing needs tending or fixing or changing. When nothing needs correcting or reminding or guiding. When nothing is out-of-place ….. and no play time has been had in a while, …. no ‘maintenance’ as they call it.
That’s when my brain starts to wonder. Am I leading? Am I following? Is He?
Our play time is not just stress relief but it’s also a reminder that He ‘has this’, that He can take on whatever comes next and that I am not alone. It’s a fun and physical way to make that connection. It’s the most basic form and the most effective, for us.
When life steals that from me I have a harder time asking, because that’s when it feels different, that’s when I get unsure. I know the answer, i wrote it. Ask anyway …… it’s just getting past that mental block that’s hard.
But a bunny never stops. So ‘i got over myself’ *wink* and asked anyway.
Being submissive to Him is easy, getting out of my head, now that’s another matter entirely.
** Please don’t give me a bunch of comments about how being submissive is hard work, I get that. My experience is that submitting to the Bear has never been a problem. That is not where ‘my’ battle lies.**