What to write?

I’m having a hard time trying to figure out what to write here on this site lately. I like to write and it both calms me at times and offers a distraction from the other things in life when I just want a break. To me writing here is not ‘work’, its relaxing.

The problem is that besides the obvious kink, I am having a hard time differentiating from D/s and just life ….. so

Besides the kinky play time and collars and such, what do you consider the main differences between married, relationship and D/s?

How do you see the differences in life in general? Besides He or She gets final say?

How has your life changed since starting D/s? Especially if you were in a long-term relationship before hand?

Outside of kinky protocols, what’s the real differences?

I have a feeling your answers are going to be much different from mine. See, to me the differences are mainly sex and kink, all the rest falls under a good and close relationship dynamic, kinky or vanilla.

So when I say I cook from scratch every night, things that He likes, I would and did do it anyway …..

When I say I spend time everyday thinking on what He needs and how I can help make His life easier, I did that anyway.

When I say I spoke with respect and was mindful of my tone and manners, I did that anyway.

As a matter of fact, I had always asked for His opinion on things and He always did have final say, whether He knew it or not. We always discussed things and worked together for the betterment of us and our family.

Communication, respect, manners, openness, honesty. Those are all things I see as a committed relationship. Putting energy into being with and pleasing each other, taking care of one another mind, body and soul.

To me these are all things that need to be there before I commit to a relationship, I can’t imagine why you would be in one without them.

So tell me, what is the difference besides the kink? Or is my experience just that much different?

He might not have spanked my behind in the past for overstepping but one look or word of disappointment would have stopped me in my tracks then too. As a matter of fact I haven’t been disciplined in over 3 years. I have practiced being this way for 23 years now ….. so I have a hard time trying to figure out what D/s things to write about when to me, it’s just life. Besides the sex and kink.

So what have you found? What’s the difference to you?

9 thoughts on “What to write?

  1. Now that was an interesting read. From a perspective I hadn’t considered we will have to ask kitten her perspective on this later she is out at the moment. I think she might feel a bit similar
    My take on it is this I was and am a very easy going guy most things are fine with me. My inclination is sure babe what ever you want. Once we decided on a 24/7 D/s relationship a sure what ever attitude just wouldn’t do anymore I’m responsible these are my decisions to make. Yes I listen to her side of course I seek her council but I’m the end I have to make the best choice for us. I can’t just go einy meiny moe. I mean I still try to be cool about it and you know make it all look effortless

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, good catch, S! That would be one of the things that changed here too. The ‘His choice whether He knew it or not’ has changed to He knows it now! LoL Before hand, even though I always went to Him and followed what He said, the responsibility was effectively on me alone because He didn’t realize what i was doing. (Sort of confusing but i think you’ll understand.)
      I dare say that more responsibility here has made Him feel more confident in life over all, have you found that? Not that there were issues before hand but ‘a job well done builds character’ and all that.


      1. That hits the nail on the head I’m definitely more confident more involved in what we do. It’s made me a bigger part of the relationship


  2. Nail on the head again bunny. I don’t know what I would have settled for had you not come into my life. You have opened my eyes to so many things that were right in front of them. I can’t imagine now not being with you. You are my best friend and that is a very good reason why we work. The sex and kink is fun but we need to trust and respect each other if we are going to get the most out of “us”.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aaaahhh…in my case, he is the boss, so to speak, so it permeates everything. I think he is mostly amused at my moments of bratty time, trying to be contrary or thinking that I’m going to do any and everything I think I will.

    But some people do have a clear delineation between kinky time and non kinky time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. For me the biggest thing that changed was I became softer, more feminine if you like. With S. I am not afraid to be soft and girly where before him I was harsher and determined just to get by. I didn’t like myself back then because I was closed. I prefer myself now because I am safe to be my genuine self. So great sex, loads of kinks and a more calm, gentle and feminine me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I definitely get this answer! I have always been much softer with the Bear than with anyone … but I had that before D/s with Him. Do you think that’s a D/s thing, or just an ‘S’ thing? If D/s (as in kink) hadn’t been there for you guys, do you think you wouldn’t be the same soft self with him?
      (For the record I had this with the Bear but life did rob it from us and D/s brought it back, so there is that.)


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