Okay, I’m back, with hopefully a real post this time. Did you all miss me?? *giggle* I was busy climbing the walls! *wink*
I heard this ‘report’ some time back and I knew it was going to make an appearance here because, well, that’s the only real way to get things out of my head. So after some time of thinking on it and some reading of other blogs I have figured out how to make it make sense, and maybe be of interest here on this blog.
The report was about friends/friendships and that we all actually have a set ‘friend number’. It’s the amount of people we can have in our ‘circle’ before it gets over loaded and someone has to leave! Yeah, at first I thought ‘no way’, that sounds ridiculous. Why would we be forced to just set a limit to the amount of friends we can ‘carry’ in our lives. And besides, as we grow and change and our life circumstances change surely that has an effect on the number of friends as well, doesn’t it??
Apparently, in my case anyway and of those around me, it does not change! Now I don’t mean facebook friends or online follower friends, I mean real, in your life people, real friends.
So this leads me to poly relationships and why I am completely against them, for me, for us. This is probably not for the reasons you might think. Although I have no desire to share or be shared, and neither does the Bear, it is not the thing that really makes poly relationships very undesirable to us.
Reading a wonderfully insightful post over there at Sir and Kitten’s Pleasure Place about sexuality and exploring I got to thinking along the lines of this post. The more I thought the more I reinforced the idea that I like to explore and I do have fantasies, some that can even make a Bear blush, but some things really are best left as fantasies. Although poly has never been a fantasy of mine I know it is not something I even wish to explore.
The reason for this? The friends number, for both me and The Bear actually. My friend number is 2, and that includes the Bear as one. His friend number is about 3 and I would say that includes me too.
I couldn’t imagine being in a poly relationship without being friends ….. but that would mean that my friend would need to be pushed out of my life so that I could add another. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. That would essentially mean the same for the Bear! On top of the fact that we both have very small ‘circles’, I don’t make friends very easily or quickly as I’m sure is apparent by my ‘number’.
The Bear is the extrovert, He likes to be out and socialize but He makes acquaintances, not friends. I can’t imagine wanting to get into a poly relationship with someone who is just an acquaintance and would never be anything more.
Reading the adventures of Dayliacatt over at Fetcetera has confirmed all my thoughts. They sound to be having a wonderful time learning about each other and growing their circle of friends. I think it’s wonderful, for ‘them’.
To me the whole thing just sounds like work, not fun. Having to see that many people on a regular basis and ‘play nice’ is just not something I would want on a regular basis. I write about that from time to time on my other site but just let me tell you that I am NOT a people person.
I am still recuperating from having to be out and about at Christmas time. *chuckle* We had lots of parties and places and they were all fun, but that is more than enough socializing for me. Afterwards I need a break from people to recharge.
I have been off work since the end of June, outside of appointments and shopping for basics I have not been anywhere or seen anyone besides my brother, twice. I don’t feel bored, I don’t feel lonely and I don’t feel like I’m missing anything either. I enjoy the quiet and solitude. I only wish it could last much longer!
Friend numbers ….. I guess they really don’t change!
Sexuality and exploring aside, I would never enjoy poly or sharing, it’s simply not in my DNA. The same reason that munches and other such get togethers also don’t appeal to us.