We bought a car!

Well, we did it! We bought the car!

I didn’t get the amount I wanted BUT I did get ALL the issues taken care of and included in the price we discussed. I still got a better deal than they were offering and the Bear is very pleased! I dare say that with them taking care of it all before hand I’ve actually come out ahead at the price agreed to! *chuckle*

It was kind of cute having the poor guy chase us out in the parking lot as we were getting ready to pull away. Those poor fellows are probably still in shock with their heads spinning a bit. It was fun! *grin*

Bending someone over your knee is not the way to control a situation. If you have to get there before they are listening to you, they aren’t listening to you at all! THAT part should be for the fun of it! *wink*

The song is just because I like to dance to it, it’s nice to stretch those dominant muscles every so often! *giggle*

Maintaining the dynamic, when I’m taking charge.

What?!?!? I’m taking charge you say, what’s that all about? *chuckle*

I’ve said before, I’m a pretty ‘dominant’ character. I have an assertive personality and there are some things that I really am better at than the Bear. That’s not to say He isn’t good at them, I’m just better.

I’ve done it professionally, I’ve done it in my personal life, I have more practice. Simple as that. It’s also part of my personality that I excel at negotiations.

So, we need a new car. The old one is leaking fuel and obviously is not safe to drive …. BEAR! *raspberries* Sir has asked me to source out the used cars in the area and see if we can find one to suit our purpose. It’s a ‘back and forth’ to work car for Him. I’m not looking at new because , one the expense and two it’s going to be carting dirty men around! 😛 And I don’t mean Evil, naughty dirty … *wink*

So I’ve come up with a list of possibles, we went through them yesterday and He picked out the one He wanted to look at investigating further. I’ll be setting up the appointment for tonight. I will be dealing with the sales person (already have to some extent making my list).

Yesterday we went to take a quick look while the place was closed. I took ‘notes’ on the state of the car and I have done some research to see the worth. When we go tonight the Bear will be doing the looking and driving, because the car is for His use after all, but I will be doing the negotiating for price.

Yup, it’s true, we will both be standing right there and I am going to take the lead on this. Like I said, I have the assertive no-nonsense personality. I don’t get flustered and I stick to my guns as they say. If I don’t get what I want, or close, I will walk away. I’m quite confident they will call me back! *chuckle* I have done my research, I know what I’m talking about and the car has a few things going against it that not everyone will want to fix. Short, sweet and to the point.

The Bear on the other hand is a people person, He likes to talk and hang out and they would likely talk for an hour, not change the price and He would pay too much. *giggle* He likes to go with the flow, He’s a moderator, does a wonderful job of bringing people together and helping them stay put to work out their differences, something I am not good at. Well, I’m better because I have learned from watching Him, but its most certainly His forte, not mine! (getting back on topic now.)

So, I will be taking the lead even though I’m His ‘submissive’, so how do we add any sort of D/s to that?

Normally I wear a dress and no panties to greet Him after work. Today because we are going to test drive the car I have asked Him if I may wear something else instead. The car is dirty and who knows what’s been in there. I would like to wear panties and pants please! Of course He said yes.

I will be in charge of buying the car, He will still be in charge of me. Simple! *wink*

Once the price is set He will do all the paper work and payment etc. Team work, each of us using our strengths for the betterment of our life.

If we got caught up in the ‘shudda, coudda, woudda twue way’ we might not make out so well.

If it makes the ‘twue’ people feel better, we can say it’s a ‘task’ He has set out for me, if I do well I get a reward. Hey, I like that idea!! What do you say Bear? I get a reward? *wink wink*

(Just some humour, don’t worry folks, I don’t really care what ‘twue’ idealists think.)

Happy Tuesday! ❤

HBIC and I kneel at His feet! *wink*

This past week has brought me the words to finally, I think, explain something that I have been trying to put into words for some time now.

I had posted some time ago that my submission to my husband was in fact a dominant act. I’m not sure how many of you were here then or how many really grasped what I was trying to say. Attempting to embrace other ‘submissive type’ descriptions in order to make this make sense to the masses has added some confusion as to who I AM. Or so that is my impression. So I think I will try again.

Reading a well worded and thought-provoking post from A.C. at The Cracked Lens has sparked the inspiration to try this again. He explains how, in his opinion, a dominant should have a servant’s heart in order to best take care of those around them. This is something I completely agree with.

As someone who often finds themselves in a dominant position I have always found that my first concern is the health/welfare and needs of those I am responsible for. No matter what privileges are afforded to me I never feel right about partaking in any of them if I have not first seen to the needs of all those around me who have made these privileges possible. This is who I am. A dominant with the heart to serve, my family, my friends, my community.

One of the comments that came to light through A.C.’s post also spoke of a submissive/slave serving with dignity and not being prideful in their way of life. I will let you find that on your own should you choose, but it did also spark the second half of this post.

As a dominant (and I’m using these terms for the sake of the general audience of D/s type blogs) and having a servant’s heart, all of your actions should be also done with dignity and not pride. All people should strive to be this way if you ask me, we should all strive to serve our fellow-man to the best of our ability and with a dignified but humble approach. At least that is my opinion but ….

So back to this ‘dominant’ decision to submit to my husband.

When I had the more dominant role He was becoming very unhappy. It was obvious that He was getting more and more removed from me and from our family. I had an idea, one that came from a place in my dominant servant’s heart, that told me what was best for my family, my husband and in turn myself.

Allowing Him to take the lead in our home and in our life allowed Him to feel fulfilled in His role as both my husband and a man. I made the dominant decision to have Him lead.

As far as I’m concerned we are simply two dominant people sharing the same space. We are both striving to do what is best for both each other and our family. Perhaps that’s why when it comes to living and negotiating our way around life we really have no issues. I gave my word to let Him lead and so I do. I don’t fuss or argue, I don’t push His limits for the sake of engaging with him, I don’t get into ‘trouble’ and I don’t break rules. My rules for myself are much stricter than His are for me anyway! *chuckle*

We talk about this division of control just as casually and naturally as we discuss the week’s dinner plans and whether or not we want to go for a dog walk.

Two dominants, both with a servant’s heart, sharing a space and sharing responsibilities. Both doing what works best for our family and for us. Both living with dignity and not pride.

I don’t find submitting to my husband as demeaning and I don’t find it contrary to my dominant personality either. I find it a humble and dignified way to serve, even if it is from a dominant perspective. I’m still His submissive, it just started out as more a need of His that I felt a dominant responsibility to fill.

Everyone confused now? *chuckle*

As to the bedroom, I find no excitement in dominating there. He can totally do that part! *wink* I also happen to be a masochist who gets no excitement from the other side of that coin either.

The Bear is a sadist who finds dominating in the bedroom much to His liking, submitting – not at all. He is totally NOT a masochist! LoL

At the end of the day, this arrangement works out perfectly for us, that’s the point after all, isn’t it? *wink*

Now if we could just find a bit more alone time! LoL It’s getting easier to sneak time in, things are finally looking up there too!

 

Me, stubborn? Nah!

When we first started down this path I was the one to ask the Bear to try out this ‘lifestyle’. It was shortly after we had already decided to play around in the bedroom with some of these concepts and rituals. I was enjoying the quiet my mind felt when we played that way and I remembered some reading I had done early on, by a dominant, of how things really worked 24/7.  Curious to see if I could keep that quiet a bit longer through my days, I asked.

I was always the one in charge of everything before. It made sense, I was home, I was the mom and the kids and their issues really was my area of expertise. It fits perfectly with my personality type anyway, the planner, the organizer, the one with the direction and determination to keep things moving. Before I stayed home to work I ran a billing and accounting department for a couple of internet companies, I know money, I know budgets and I know how to make a long-term plan.

Everything from vacations, to finances to kids and school and home. All of it was on my shoulders, alone. Needless to say it was a bit of pressure being always on when I had another perfectly capable adult standing next to me. When the boys were younger it wasn’t such a big deal but as they grew and their issues grew I became more and more wrapped up in my head, every second planning and thinking. It was never-ending and I was getting exhausted.

I felt like a single mom (not that there is anything wrong with that) and I wanted Him to start helping to pull some of that weight.

The Bear had one condition, just one really. He would only take on this new lifestyle on a trial run IF He was given full control over taking care of me. *Apparently* I’m stubborn and don’t know when to quit, I do too much and push myself too far …. not sure where He gets that idea from!?!

My point here is that His FIRST PRIORITY is my welfare, period. If He can’t keep me happy, safe and balanced in this He will not do it. (No, I’m not saying my happiness is in His hands, well yes but no. No one is charged with making you happy, you make yourself happy, it comes from within, but just for the sake of the post … we’ll say it this way.)

If your dom/me doesn’t find that to be a priority of theirs than perhaps the relationship is not one you want. If you’re looking to play around and that’s all than have at it. It’s no different from ‘vanilla’ casual sex relationships, but if you want more, get more, or leave.

There are people out there that want to keep it causal, there are people out there who want to be treated poorly, there are people out there who really do enjoy being miserable. They are happy in their constant state of angst, so let them be.

To the rest of you, if that’s not what you want than don’t settle, there is more and you can do more. If the current ‘community’ outlets are not allowing for that than move else where. There are enough of you, move your platform and do your own thing. The current platforms started somewhere …. you can to.

I know some of you have lost a friend recently and this by no means has anything to do with that so I hope my song choice doesn’t offend. 

You can’t ‘save’ everyone, not everyone wants to be ‘saved’. This is not a new concept.

Live and Let Die – PAUL McCARTNEY & WINGS

So to my friends out there trying to make a difference or getting wrapped up in the fact that some simply don’t want to hear you, let them go.

 

Fairy tales and other lies

Tales of Don Juan they’re very poetic babe
But out on the streets out there
The true verse of life is written

This is to everyone still trying to copy ‘that book’ or chasing that fantasy.

“Sinking Like A Sunset”

She’s thinking about the prince and Cinderella
And the outlaws, and the hustlers, and the heroes
That never seem to fall

It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter what
The outcome of the story is
Because in real life I try to tell her
It’s not like that at all

Oh, won’t you please just hold out now
‘Cause there’s some things I’d like you to forget
When your world is sinking like a sunset

Tales of Don Juan, they’re very poetic, babe
But out on the streets out there
The true verse of life is written

You know it’s really a shame
When you’ve got to let go of all the things you love
Like a fighter he really bleeds
When he must hang up his gloves

No I am not a rock and I can feel it now
But for a moment, I’d like to forget
That my heart is sinking like a sunset

No no no no no no no no
Sinking like a sunset
No no no no no no no no
Sinking like a sunset
No no no no no no no no

Everybody has a story
Some are tragic and some find glory
But it feels more real when you’re here
Right next to me

You can walk too far out on that ledge
And you might lose your mind
You know I need you now
You’re the angel that keeps me in line

The old sergeant has broken down
He’s grown senile
He shouts, “kill the bastards!” in the night
‘Cause he’s all out of time

So don’t hold out, let’s make love right now
‘Cause there’s some things I’d like to forget
When our hearts are sinkin’ like a sunset

Won’t you hold me now and make things alright
‘Cause when you’re with me here
The sun comes out at night, making me forget
We’re sinking like a sunset

No no no no no no no no
Sinking like a sunset

No no no no no no no no
Sinking like a sunset

No no no no no no no no
Sinking like a sunset

No no no no no no no no
Sinking like a sunset

No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
Sinking like a sunset

Songwriters: Annette Ducharme
Sinking Like a Sunset lyrics © Peermusic Publishing

Too soon??

I’ve got an honest question here and I’d like feed back, please.

How soon, or long I suppose, should you wait to approach a topic that might be sensitive because of a certain, nasty turn of events?

The event had nothing to do with the topic I want to speak about but the choice of words might not be taken as they are meant. They will likely be misunderstood or simply not tolerated because it was, as they say …’too soon’.

So how long? Howe long after a trauma is it okay to use words that might otherwise be triggers? What is the socially acceptable number?

Anyone?

I wasn’t going to but …

This is one of my favourite artists and I think a lot of people reference him but really don’t know what he’s saying.

Personally I think he’s brilliant, I think he has had a lot to work through in life and I think he’s showing people the way out of h3ll. Or trying to ….

This is my ‘go to’ song when things get hard and I need a boost to my energy levels to keep fighting. And I will always keep fighting. So here’s today’s song:

“I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)”

“Not Afraid”

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)Yeah, it’s been a ride
I guess I had to, go to that place, to get to this one
Now some of you, might still be in that place
If you’re trying to get out, just follow me
I’ll get you there

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay ’em
But you won’t take the sting out these words before I say ’em
‘Cause ain’t no way I’mma let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say I’mma do something I do it,
I don’t give a damn what you think,
I’m doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it’s gassed up, if it thinks it’s stopping me
I’mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I’m tearing down your balcony
No ifs, ands or buts, don’t try to ask him why or how can he
From “Infinite” down to the last “Relapse” album
He’s still shitting, whether he’s on salary paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He’s married to the game, like a “fuck you” for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he’s got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt, and fuck the whole universe

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)

Okay quit playing with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn’t have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it’s a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth,
For that fuck your feelings/fillings,
Instead of getting crowned you’re getting capped
And to the fans, I’ll never let you down again, I’m back
I promise to never go back on that promise,
in fact let’s be honest,
that last “Relapse” CD was eh
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain’t going back to that now
All I’m trying to say is get back, click-clack, blow
‘Cause I ain’t playing around
It’s a game called circle and I don’t know how, I’m way too up to back down
But I think I’m still trying to figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn’t, this fucking black cloud
Still follows me around but it’s time to exorcise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)

And I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today, I’m breaking out of this cage
I’m standing up, I’mma face my demons
I’m manning up, I’mma hold my ground
I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now! (now)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally
For you, so I could come back a brand-new me you helped see me through
And don’t even realize what you did, ’cause believe me you
I’ve been through the ringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers
And drop dead, no more beef lingers
No more drama from now on, I wanna promise
To focus solely on handling my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof, like my daughters
And raise it, you couldn’t lift a single shingle on it!
‘Cause the way I feel, I’m strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up
‘Cause I’m raising the bar
I’d shoot for the moon but I’m too busy gazing at stars
I feel amazing and I’m…

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)

Sick D/s

What is it about being sick that makes me crave teddy Bears and chocolate cake? *smirk* Something fuzzy to hold on to and lay on and something yummy to indulge in. I don’t normally do sweets unless it’s a birthday or something and even then it’s rare. But if I’m sick so ….

I laid down for ‘just a little bit’ and I think I was out for the better part of two hours. I never fall asleep quickly and never stay asleep either so it’s not as restful as it seems.

The Bear had plenty of evil plans to keep me hopping today but they all had to go on hold. I haven’t done nearly as much as I was hoping to do and He will likely end up getting take out today because I just have no energy.

I finally took something for it but so far it hasn’t given me much relief. I don’t know if my other physical issues are just compounding the problem but my guess would be yes. It’s just a basic cold but my fever won’t quit and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. It really shouldn’t be this ‘bad’! OYE

So yes, another D/s day for the Bear and bunny. I don’t imagine He’ll put too many demands on me today. Well  likely the one demand I have the hardest time with!

“Sit down, leave it, I’ll get it, rest!” *raspberries*

Evil Bears I tell yah! ❤

 

Ever have one of those moments?

Blah, blah, blah …. don’t know what to write!

The post that has been running through my head all night long I have chosen to ‘table’, at least for now. This means that it will continue to infiltrate its way into every thought today. UGH

I’ve been up since before 5 am, I’ve done my stretches, I’ve done some yoga, I’m keeping the weights till tomorrow ….. coffee is working its magic.

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping …. a happy day.

The Bear is working and I’m off all summer. I might be getting a bit squirrelly in the head.

What am I going to do ….. ?? I need to find a new topic to write about.

Later!