I don’t give my respect easily. That’s not to say I don’t act respectfully, I just happen to have very high standards that seem to be a thing of the past these days. Once my respect is lost however, it’s gone for good. Is that right? Is that wrong? I can’t say, but it is who I am.
I don’t make rash decisions either, I take the time to think through all possible avenues before I decide. Once decided the direction is final, unless you can bring me new information that might sway my choice, otherwise it stands. Again right, wrong? Don’t know, it’s just me.
I’m also not a highly emotional person, I prefer facts and actions to emotion. Usually makes me look quite harsh to some I’m sure. I’m not trying to be harsh I’m just a very fact and action oriented person, I get the job done. ‘Feel’ about it later …
I don’t suffer fools, I don’t join cliques and I don’t do social media …. must be why I didn’t realize that this lifestyle I have embraced has so much negativity associated with it.
A partner who is constantly badgered and pressured to change or accept something that they have deemed against their better judgement and moral code is abused. If they are constantly made to feel that they are not good enough because of it and told they will never amount to much, never find a new relationship etc etc … that’s manipulation and abuse.
You eventually start to believe what you were told and you start to accept things and actions even though your life is miserable and you are very unhappy. This is mental and emotional abuse. You start to defend your abuser and think you actually do want to be there. That’s called ‘battered wife syndrome’ although it most certainly is not only women or wives.
Just because you add letters like BDSM, D/s, M/s or ‘dynamic’ to it doesn’t make it okay. We don’t call it moral code we call it hard limits, they are to be respected and accepted, or move on! Just because you have added letters to your relationship doesn’t mean you get to push and badger and manipulate someone until they have no choice but to let you pass by their limits like they don’t matter.
Coercion is not consent. No matter what title you give yourself. Oh I know, it’s just *training* ….
** If you are in a relationship and your needs and limits are not being respected, get out. It doesn’t matter what they call themselves, they do not have the right to disrespect you. If this makes you more miserable than happy, than it’s not right. **
Let them keep their labels, my life is worth more than a label. What about yours?