Re-Blog – need to read in this age of cyber stalking

Research shows that women are up to twice as likely to develop PTSD, but research, treatments and laws are all designed with the combat veteran in mind….. ….Movies like The Hurt Locker and Jacob’s Ladder have portrayed PTSD in military men, but a woman named Melody Hensley who was diagnosed with PTSD from cyberstalking was […]

via Women are Twice as Likely to Get PTSD — INSPIRATION AND EMOTIONAL COURAGE: MENTAL ILLNESS, ADDICTION, AND RECOVERY

Subdivisions – I left them behind in high school …. apparently others have not!

More music of course!

This was the music that was part of my thinking when I was growing up, probably why I really don’t give two hoots about what anyone wants to label me! *wink* Or not label …. *chuckle*

Had a short conversation about how some that say they are in the ‘community’ are more like a high school clique than they are mature adults! So this says it a bit more melodically! LoL

TGIF All!

Music: Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson
Lyrics: Neil Peart

Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit unknown

Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone

Nowhere is the dreamer
Or the misfit so alone

Subdivisions —
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions —
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
Any escape might help to smooth
The unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe
The restless dreams of youth

Drawn like moths we drift into the city
The timeless old attraction
Cruising for the action
Lit up like a firefly
Just to feel the living night

Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight

Somewhere out of a memory
Of lighted streets on quiet nights…

Power Exchange Recipe

I love to cook, and bake. I find recipes all the time for new and exciting flavours that I want to try out.

Once I have found a recipe that looks promising I try it out. Sometimes I leave it as is because it works perfectly with our tastes.

Sometimes I change it by tweaking the amounts or adding things to make it better suited for us. Sometimes it’s as simple as just leaving one thing out.

Sometimes I disregard it all together because it simply doesn’t suit us.

Sometimes I’m asked to share my recipe. I fully expect that person to go through the same steps, to make it their own. To make it perfectly suited to their own tastes.

I suppose I could run around telling them they are making it wrong, or I could be realistic and mature and realize that we all have our own individual palates.

If I’m open-minded, I might even find a new flavour I enjoy! *wink*

So many things on my mind today …. I think this more or less covers them all! Go cook your own meals folks, write your own recipes. Don’t worry about what your neighbour is having for dinner! LoL

Just to be clear …

In case anyone (else *wink*) was wondering, the last post was nothing to do with me or the Bear! I’m afraid if I told you only about my current life experience specifically you would be very, very bored! LoL

Most of what I write here now a days is triggered by something I read, something I heard or something I remembered …… As I go about my day-to-day certain memories of days gone by will trigger a memory of a conversation or issue that I have spoken to someone about, or read about.

When the Bear and I are interacting those thoughts pop up and I think, if only they had handled it this way it wouldn’t have been an issue. This sparks a post and off I go …

I don’t really have any issues, questions or concerns. I’m simply trying to share my thoughts and ideas with anyone who might find them worth while to read.

If I wrote only what pertains to my life and my relationship on this site I’m afraid you would be bored to tears! LoL

For example, I talked about my doing some ‘music therapy’ and although I haven’t gone into detail yet …. I mentioned to the Bear what I wanted to do and said it would be really nice to have a speaker from the sound system in the kitchen as well so I could hear it well without blasting the music no matter where in the house I was.

Half an hour later, and a bit of dust on the floor from drilling …. I now have the speaker in my kitchen and I can hear my music from anywhere. I’m hoping it will go a long way in my recovery, or hopeful recovery anyway.

I know, I know ….. how dare He! The drama I need to deal with, right?

So no, there is no emotional cheating going on here, or any other cheating. We don’t fight, we don’t argue, He takes awesome care of me and I think I take awesome care of Him. We have a lot of ups and down in our life but they are not about our relationship.

We talk a lot, spend every evening together and laugh a lot despite the other stressors that we do deal with. We play some, work some and love lots! Complete opposites and perfect compliments. We learn from each other and bring each other up ….

This part of our life is easy, yes it’s work but when you love the work you do it’s easy to manage. There are plenty of things going on that are not easy, but this is simply not one of them.

So in case there was any confusion, the Bear and I are just as strong as ever!

Love You Always, Bear! ❤

A big difference – a bit of a brain cell download

The difference between real and role play, for me.

I’m not entirely sure if this will come out as a coherent post but I feel I need to get it out of my head so here goes. It might be a bit confusing to some of you because it goes against everything I normally talk about, sort of! LoL

The idea of being ‘molded’ into the perfect ‘slave’. (BTW I really hate that term, it undermines everything real slaves went through to me but that’s another thought.) I know that when given the opportunity I really do enjoy that type of dynamic, for a while. This wouldn’t however be something that I consider ‘real life’.

Given the opportunity to slip away into this space where I get to be and act in such a way that is completely controlled by the Bear is a very good way for me to ‘check out’ of reality for a while and simply be. It’s calming, its relaxing and it’s a safe space done with someone you trust.

See, I haven’t got a thing against playing this way, but that’s all it would be, to me …. It’s play, it’s a fantasy, an escape from reality BUT it’s not real life. It would be a role I take on for a short while, just long enough to be rid of stress and worry.

For those who play online only, or have contact with their doms or subs maybe once per week, or once per month, I can certainly see the appeal of playing this way. But THIS does not translate well to a full-time 24/7 relationship where you live together, play together and share all other responsibilities like kids, work, house, etc. That would be where everyone says ‘real life’ gets in the way of their dynamic.

I enjoy the role, I won’t deny it but that’s all it is, it’s a role, it’s not something that I get molded into 24/7. When things were good we played this way from Friday night to Sunday, mid day. It gave just enough time to ‘come down’ and talk and regroup for Monday morning.

When life got complicated we went back to basics, I wrote about the ‘rules‘ so you know what I mean. Now a days we use trigger words to tell each other what we want/need and when opportunity shows itself we try to take advantage.

The core of the relationship is always the same, the important stuff never goes by the way side but the fantasy we like to play at is put in that category for us, a fantasy.

Being at someone’s beck and call 24/7 and pushing all your own wants and needs out of your mind is not a mentally healthy way to be. It’s a co-dependent relationship at best and very mentally hurtful at its worst.

It’s a great mental break, I’ll give you that. It’s no different from role-playing in one of those video games but you leave most of it behind when you shut the game down. You don’t continue with that persona. Yes, parts will be with you because they are just who you are and it works well with your day-to-day, but not everything.

If I was to play video games I’m sure I’d pick the kick ass warrior with sword and shield and take out the bad guys one by one, BUT in the real world I don’t really chop people in half!

See, part real, part fantasy. Fun yes but not something that I could, or should continue 24/7 ….

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This is part of who I am. Does that make my submission a fake role I play? No, but it does need to be put in perspective. Checking out of reality for a while and letting Him take it all on is a great vacation but eventually we all have to return to ‘work’ don’t we?

It doesn’t make it fake but it does speak to the idea of being realistic with your rules and expectations, from both side.

I understand the concept and I love being bound and at His mercy, completely from time to time. That would not go over very well in the middle of my work day however or if something comes up in life while He is not here, would it?

So why would He, or I, want to have me mentally bound 24/7?

A role to be molded into?

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I am His submissive but I can’t say that I am ‘a’ submissive, perhaps that’s why sometimes things really make we wonder if I want to remove the word from this site entirely.

The idea that I couldn’t speak my mind simply to keep Him in an unending state of Masterly bliss confounds me.

What joy is there in being able to say you are the leader of something that has no will power of its own anyway? Something that never thinks for itself, never has original ideas or could never provide a worthy opponent.

I often take the lead in the real world, make decisions and help those in need of guidance but I admit that when I find myself in the midst of a bunch of ‘yes men’ it loses it’s luster very quickly.

There is no real ‘boost’ when I can see that if not me it could easily be someone else, anyone could lead that ship ….. there is no challenge.

So tell me Sir, would you rather mold me into my ‘proper role’, or would you rather continue with this …..

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No need to answer Sir, I know what happens when I seem tame! LoL

Happy Monday! ❤