Some day

I am not a quiet lover ….

My bed makes way too much noise …..

I’m still thinking second property Sir …..

Maybe that loft I found?? *wink*

Happy Friday!

Pray for me, please. Let those children start getting out of the house!

I love them, really I do ….. but I could use some private time every so often as well! 😛 LoL

 

Once upon a time …

Early in my travels online (this time around, I did ‘online’ before a home pc was a normal thing) and with D/s-type sites, I ran into the ‘rules and regulations’ of being in a ‘real’ D/s relationship ….

I hope you all see a whole lot of wrong with that statement, anyway …

A couple of things struck me as both funny and ridiculous. One, in order to be D/s you must watch porn …. Hummm, anyway. Point two, if you have a ‘real’ D/s relationship, you WILL eventually reach the point when/where you will add a third to your relationship.

Well, they did provide some interesting entertainment for a while, but needless to say I had my fill and moved on. Apparently I don’t have a ‘real’ D/s relationship! Look at me, I’m SOOO worried about it …. LOL

When the internet wasn’t a ‘thing’ we learned the difference between a real newspaper with real and researched information and the fake and for profit and shock value fairy tales. (No, I’m not saying the papers always had it right.)

Just because someone posted it on the internet and the site looks pretty and professional DOESN’T mean its good information.

Please use your own mind and common sense ….

This applies to any topic!

Happy Hump Day! *wink*

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Daddy Issues

I wasn’t going to post anything, but I came across something that prompted this comment from me so I’m putting it here, too.

Write it down = out of my head! 😉

To those of you who have a real problem trying to say “Happy Father’s Day”:

What he did doesn’t have to dictate your life, it really doesn’t.

If you are like most of the rest of us, what you are waiting for is to give yourself permission to just hate what he did. It’s okay, you are allowed to, no apologies for how it feels! It doesn’t make you a bad person ….. 

Secondly, I’m guessing you need to realize that it wasn’t you. Not something you did, not something you should have done and not about your worth as a person.

His problem, His issues, His fault, His failure. It was never about you …. never about any of us in this same boat for whatever our reasons.

Question ….?

Is anyone having trouble getting to this site? Is it being picked up as ‘harmful’ by chance? Or is that just me?

I’m having a feeling that might be why/how my comments were silenced last time ….

Please let me know. I don’t want to contact WP or Askimet without all the facts!

Thank You!!! 😀

Messy hair, don’t care ….

Not sure why but I’m going to put this here. I guess to show that my life has no B/s attached to my D/s … ? Don’t know, just feel I need to write it and this seems like the right place. Just a messy post, no insight here on how to play a ‘role’ …. just real life.

First, I had a really great early weekend! I had a chance to go away and see Imagine Dragons in person! To say that was exciting is the understatement of the year! Their music is what I call on to help me through the hard days and ‘party’ on the good days.

I got to be face to face with the entire band and High 5’s all around! Yeah, a very good time! 😀 😀

But ….

I have been under a lot of pressure lately. Well, more like 4 years straight …. Mental pressure, physical issues, and no ‘time out’ in over 4 years. Most of you should already know that I am at home 24/7. I work from home so that I can be here mainly as a support system for the boys. I’m not confident that if I worked outside the home they would ever be able to face the world outside that door ….

Things are getting better, thank goodness, but we are not yet out of the woods. Such is life.  We will see what September brings.

In all of this I am trying to walk the wire between my dominant self and my submissive self to the Bear. It’s not always easy and it’s not always obvious either. The truth of this dynamic for me is actually the ‘messy’ parts I think.

Anyway, after all of this time and pressure you could say that I was under a bit of stressful pent-up energy. The time away was fun but also full of little issues here and there that were slowly adding up for me.

By Friday night I don’t even know what it was that set me off but I had an all in all out melt down!

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I don’t honestly know what I said or why. I don’t remember how it went down …. I don’t remember much about it at all! It was just a completely and utter melt down and explosion.

All I do remember was the Bear, following me, holding me, keeping me from hurting myself, keeping me safe and keeping me close.

There was no kneeling, no protocol, no ‘for show’ of any sort. there was a lot of noise and a lot of ‘crazy’ pent of anger, sadness, frustration, you name it! It just all exploded out of me, that really is the best way to describe it …

There was no repercussion as far as corrections or anything like that because honestly I am right. The ‘repercussion’ if you want to call it that is that we are now, again, at another level in this journey of ours.

My dominant nature keeps me taking care of everyone like I always do, and that includes the Bear. It’s not easy to walk the line between doing for Him in a submissive way and taking care of Him in a dominant way. I do both, at the same time. I can’t deny who I am, I will not pretend. Complicated, confusing … yes, but it’s also real and that’s what we want.

(You can all pray for the Bear now! LoL )

As soon as my mind is not being ‘fulfilled’ in a submissive way I switch to my dominant way of thinking. It’s just automatic, and I’m not saying He’s doing anything wrong or not doing something He should. Not sure if this makes any sense to anyone else …. but I just simply switch gears. I don’t have the ‘need’ in between. He has no time to find it and fulfill it.

I don’t even realize it until I notice that at some point I feel like I’m taking it ‘all’ on again, traveling this stressful time by myself. Protecting Him from things instead of including Him. That part probably makes sense to some.

Anyhow, I think that’s as far as I can go with this post for now. That’s all I can put into words. If you managed to make it through this far, I hope I haven’t rattled your brain too much with my explosion of half thoughts and ideas!

Happy Monday! ❤

My ‘D/s’

I’m tired of labels and explaining and worrying about if I am/or He is understood.

I don’t care what others think or say, I never have.

I came from a dark place and one day I found the Bear …. after much back and forth we found ourselves here. Does it have a name? No Clue, don’t care …..

All I know is that this is what I have, pretty sure some of you do too.

Enjoy what you have, forget the rest! *wink*

Less D/s? Depends on your definition.

My point of view here based on my definition of ‘D/s’ ….

Yesterday Sir put the kinky parts of our day on hold. Yesterday there were no orders or play, no kink. Yesterday I didn’t even cook supper, Sir went out and got something ….

There were the few basics like bedtime and wearing my cuffs and choker but nothing else …

Does this mean that yesterday was all vanilla and no D/s?

My definition says no ….

Yesterday He was still He and I was still me. Yesterday I still counted on Him and told the truth and He took care of me. Yesterday, as far as I’m concerned we were still very much in our dynamic, we just simply weren’t kinky.

Maybe that’s why we never feel that our dynamic is off. Our kink might be in low gear at times but we are still we.

If you’d like to know why you can find it here. Nothing kinky, just life. 

 

Forgot some ….

It has occurred to me that I forgot a couple of simple rules so I thought I’d add an amendment.

My arm is killing me so this will be ‘short and sweet’!

  • Moisturize twice daily, it keeps the paddle rash away! *wink* and a few other issues
  • prepare the coffee for the Bear’s morning

Not sure if the second one is a rule but I know He leaves it for me. There is a story there but let’s just say it really means a lot to me.

It’s about trust, and acceptance, and a feeling like *I’m* the one who is starting His day off right …. *smiles*

That’s all I got today folks! All I can manage …

Happy Monday! 😀

When?

When was the last time you heard that someone single-handedly changed the world?

When was the last time you heard someone made a lasting impression all by themselves?

Change happens when normal, everyday people do something. Even something small but necessary. And they continue to do it, and others catch on, and they see the need and they join in.

One small action, repeated … by many! That’s what changes the world.

I’m pretty sure you all know by now that I’m not into following, or communities or labels. What I am into is standing up for right and wrong, no matter the label and no matter the consequence, to me.

Sometimes it really is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Sometimes, in this world of BDSM and D/s things simply need to be put in perspective. If I feel someone is in danger, if someone is in need I WILL STEP IN. If I’m wrong I will apologize but if I am right I will not back down.

It only takes one jerk, one jackass to turn someone’s life on its ear. For all those jackasses there are hundreds of us, happy helpful and understanding people who look and listen to the same pages and same posts.

Don’t let that jackass win. If you see someone in need of an ear or a shoulder, give them a shout. Lend them your support. It IS important, it does make a difference, it does matter and it does count! One small thing done repeatedly by everyone, that’s how we change the world!

Happy Saturday! ❤