I wrote about the new day collar that we have been experimenting with, making sure neither of the boys are triggered by it. My style has always been ‘individual’ *wink* so being something outside of the norm is not at all unusual here, that helps!
No weird looks, no comments and no odd behaviour means we should be good to go ahead! I’ve had a few extra days off here and there and I’ve been able to use it then as well. I have grown used to it already in a sense. It puts my mind just into that place I was hoping for and gives me a nice comfortable feeling that the Bear is always with me. *smiles*
A few other tasks had been left for me as well since the break was known ahead of time so the Bear made sure to take full advantage of infiltrating my mind! EVIL!! *wink*
Yesterday however I had to work early for a few hours. The Bear changed out my night collar and gave me a simple black band to wear. The middle of the day found me with no ‘work’ to do and no instructions from the Bear. It also left me without my new collar ….
Normally this time in between is not a big deal for me. It happens all the time between my odd schedule and His being away at work. I find things to do to make busy or I rest because sometimes that’s what I need physically. The day carries on and the evening brings my Bear back to me.
Today is another work day and since my holidays haven’t actually started yet my new routine with my new day collar has not yet started either. My day is not very busy however and so my mind is wandering …. back to where I found it yesterday as well. New territory ….
I’m noticing a void. I’m noticing that something in the back of my mind is sensing something missing, something important. I’m noticing that I’m missing the presence of His dominance! Uh oh …. even in just these few hours in between.
Apparently I have already started slipping into that space where I need to feel His presence in order to be comfortable. In order to be balanced. It is jumping the gun a bit here but I don’t really think I want to pull back on it. I only have a couple more days …
I think this is a happy accident, something unexpected but in need of exploring and preparing for. I’ve been around these parts long enough to know what to do about it.
Communicate, explore and honestly explain the feelings. Work TOGETHER to come up with a plan of action and then let Him lead the way! *wink*
I know when I will most likely feel the void and I know my triggers. He knows how to use them to keep me feeling cared for and His.
He might be the dominant but this relationship still runs on teamwork. It’s still my job to pay attention and bring thoughts and feelings to His attention. It’s His job to listen and help.
Love You Always, Sir! ❤ Missing You ….