Sir’s needs

A lot of my posts are from my point of view of course. That is what I know best after all!! *giggle* I’m going to try something different, I’m going to try to write something from His perspective …. let’s hope He approves!

It’s important here to remember that when we got into this adventure neither of us had any experience in the BDSM lifestyle. The Bear was not the one to ask for this and honestly, with some of the very ‘interesting’ things you can find and read out there, He was reluctant at best, against it … almost! So ….

Sir has never been an expectant person, which is partially why it was important to do this. He didn’t have expectations and didn’t ask or insist on anything BUT that doesn’t mean He didn’t have needs. He just didn’t think on them or voice them.

This would be why eventually I was doing everything and He was left feeling very unfulfilled, as was I. A few kinky romps in the bedroom and I thought, humm, He seems much more confident and happy when He has this ‘energy’. Perhaps this would translate well to the rest of our days.

Which leads me to His needs. It took a very long time to try to put a word or name to anything He might actually need because the idea is so foreign. (It wasn’t much different for me, being on the submissive side is not my norm and voicing needs isn’t either. But this post is about Him.)

We/I have tried various times to put it down on paper but the words never seem to flow.

One thing He needs is a bit of a ‘brat’. Something to keep Him invested and focused so that He can offer up corrections and keep the energy high.

Unfortunately I am the furthest thing from a ‘brat’. I’m a perfectionist. If He wants something done I go above and beyond to make sure it is to the absolute best of my ability. In anything, work, play, communicating, manners ….

When you add all the craziness of the every day around here it leaves little time to get into these deep conversations about needs and requirements! Sometimes the only needs are a quiet place to put our feet up for 15 minutes. For both of us!! LoL

There is very little time usually to get into that ‘other plane’ for us. One of the reasons this new day collar is nice. I think it’s one of His needs as well, to see it, to feel it, to give Him ‘that’ feeling.

Thinking out loud here … I can’t brat but I can do some posturing when no one is around. I find that works well for Him, and when I see and feel that energy from Him it also works for me. šŸ˜€


…. write it out, solve the issue …. thanks for taking a ride in my brain! LoL

Happy Tuesday! Does this qualify as a TMI post?? *giggle*

9 thoughts on “Sir’s needs

  1. Definitely not TMI… ninja (remember that’s what Me and My bird call you) your posts are enlightening and informative… you speak to so many of us and we adore you and Bear for all your struggles and successes. I hesitantly wrote Bear because I realize that is not my verbiage to use, yet had no other way to express how much respect I(We) have for him, you, and your relationship. So many of us follow you and love you for sharing for our good…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thank you, Wolf! That really is a very kind comment to leave. šŸ™‚ It’s nice to know that my words can be of use and enjoyment. LoL

      BTW I don’t think the Bear minds if you call Him that. He’s quite fond of it I would say! *chuckle*

      Do you have a site that is public? I’m always looking for like minded people to ‘compare notes’ with.


  2. Aww sweetie you always write things that invokes thought. Sometimes it is hard to quantify what your partner needs and wants. You covered it well. As often happens you set my brain off and I think of writing about my S. If I do I hope you don’t think I am copying you. I really think it is an homage to your posts. I think it will be different enough to not copy you.

    Liked by 1 person

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