Give me wings to fly!

There is an idea that I have found troubling for some time now. It’s an idea that I come across from time to time and I freely admit that when I find sites promoting these types of connections I don’t stick around long. I find them not only against my personal beliefs but also mentally dangerous to those who do engage.

Some out there seem to be under the impression that the ‘best’ submissives are those with mental health issues. (I said some, not all …. you can get off your high horse now.) It goes so far as to imply that those are the ‘real’ submissives, the good ones … blah blah blah …

Yet another aspect of these relationships is that BDSM and TPE is seen as the ‘thing’ that takes care of the mental health issues, whatever they may be, and that no further work or source of help is needed. Every time I read that BDSM or TPE ‘saved’ me I just cringe. It might explain the awful anguish and even suicidal thoughts you hear about when the relationship falls apart! *shakes head*

A co-dependency of this nature is NOT mentally healthy. It should not be viewed as the goal of any relationship. Speaking from my dominant side, with those that are under my care, I view it as my job to make them strong, independent, self-sufficient … able to grab life by the horns and take it where ever they choose.

I have no want to catch a bird, clip it’s wings and cage it, chain it and then possibly leave it to parish if I’m gone! I prefer a bird that comes to me of its own free will and although it can leave and manage on its own at any time, it chooses to stay by my side. It chooses to follow ….

Likewise if I find a bird that can not fly my goal will be to teach it to fly, not to continue to make it dependent on my hand to move and live. My job will be done when it leaps into the air, soars through the skies and then comes back to perch on my arm of its own free will.

I believe our mental health to be of the same nature and spirit as that bird ….

If you think that makes me less of a submissive because I am not reliant on this ‘lifestyle’ or ‘dynamic’ to function in a happy and healthy way than I guess that’s your issue, not mine.

I CAN do whatever I want, whenever I want and to whatever degree I choose. I choose to sit at His feet and let Him lead, not because I need Him to, but because I have chosen Him to. I would be just fine without this, I choose to stay.

I’m not here because I can’t imagine anything else …. I’m here because He has inspired me to stay.

If that’s not submission than I don’t know what is.


21 thoughts on “Give me wings to fly!

    1. I try to stay away from this topic as much as possible, it makes us all look ‘bad’ (my opinion). I have seen some that are almost cult like (again my opinion) and it was a very strong deterrent for me to use labels on my own site. I don’t want any association with that type of thing what so ever, personally I find it bordering on abusive … some out right!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Nijjntje, This is a very powerful subject to speak about and I wonder if it would be ok if I wrote a piece about my journey through this as I feel as strongly as you do. I will include a ping back to you and say I was inspired by your post. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Please do!
      Mental health is something I take seriously and a dynamic is no excuse if you ask me. Even if the partner agrees to it, it’s still mentally dangerous.
      To me it’s no different from ‘battered wife syndrome’.


  2. I am aware of this. At one social media site, they call subs who are the good ones ‘broken.’ Hmm… methinks ALL people are broken for whom is perfect but I am not a mentally broken woman. The part you speak about bdsm ‘healing’ them I have not heard. That is tragic!! I am glad to read your words for no one is speaking of this yet it twas my introduction elsewhere. Total turn off….I wanted nothing to do with it.


    1. It’s truly a sad state! I have even read accounts of submissives going off their meds because they have a Dom, because they are in the lifestyle …. because they think that fixes things … *shakes head*

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Omg….pray forgive me but this is tragic!! Poor girls. Medications are important. Bdsm is not a ‘cure.’


  3. SIR,
    I want to use their words, and will returns to the MASTER`S arm as a bird, since captivity in the cage is my home. slave is here because I can not imagine anything else, slave is here because they inspire me.
    SIR my level is total submission SIR!


    1. If I am not mistaken you are looking for a position as my slave. If that is true I am not looking to add anyone to my dynamic. Thank you for your interest but no.

      Liked by 2 people

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