There is an idea that I have found troubling for some time now. It’s an idea that I come across from time to time and I freely admit that when I find sites promoting these types of connections I don’t stick around long. I find them not only against my personal beliefs but also mentally dangerous to those who do engage.
Some out there seem to be under the impression that the ‘best’ submissives are those with mental health issues. (I said some, not all …. you can get off your high horse now.) It goes so far as to imply that those are the ‘real’ submissives, the good ones … blah blah blah …
Yet another aspect of these relationships is that BDSM and TPE is seen as the ‘thing’ that takes care of the mental health issues, whatever they may be, and that no further work or source of help is needed. Every time I read that BDSM or TPE ‘saved’ me I just cringe. It might explain the awful anguish and even suicidal thoughts you hear about when the relationship falls apart! *shakes head*
A co-dependency of this nature is NOT mentally healthy. It should not be viewed as the goal of any relationship. Speaking from my dominant side, with those that are under my care, I view it as my job to make them strong, independent, self-sufficient … able to grab life by the horns and take it where ever they choose.
I have no want to catch a bird, clip it’s wings and cage it, chain it and then possibly leave it to parish if I’m gone! I prefer a bird that comes to me of its own free will and although it can leave and manage on its own at any time, it chooses to stay by my side. It chooses to follow ….
Likewise if I find a bird that can not fly my goal will be to teach it to fly, not to continue to make it dependent on my hand to move and live. My job will be done when it leaps into the air, soars through the skies and then comes back to perch on my arm of its own free will.
I believe our mental health to be of the same nature and spirit as that bird ….
If you think that makes me less of a submissive because I am not reliant on this ‘lifestyle’ or ‘dynamic’ to function in a happy and healthy way than I guess that’s your issue, not mine.
I CAN do whatever I want, whenever I want and to whatever degree I choose. I choose to sit at His feet and let Him lead, not because I need Him to, but because I have chosen Him to. I would be just fine without this, I choose to stay.
I’m not here because I can’t imagine anything else …. I’m here because He has inspired me to stay.
If that’s not submission than I don’t know what is.