Kinky orders – more than just sex

Domination/submission, Submission 101 2 Minutes

I think I’ve made it fairly clear the amount of pain I deal with on a regular basis and just how doing too much makes me pay for it, big time!

One of the things that stops me from over doing it is the fact that I know Sir is not happy about it! It’s not so much the idea of a punishment that stops me, it’s the fact that I now know He is not happy or impressed when I push too far. He is actually quite upset by it.

I suppose its like feeling you have failed to take care of the one you are responsible for. I know that’s the way I feel in my dominant role with everyone else! I have no intention of hurting Him on purpose so even though my natural tendency would be to push forward and keep going, my submission causes me to think twice and stop when needed, BEFORE I would have done so on my own. What can I say, I’m a masochist all the way around! *chuckle*

Now to the kinky orders …. One of the things that Sir orders is that I’m to wear, ummm, ‘jewelry’ when I am not working. After work, weekends and holidays … pretty much all the time but work and sleep!

I have the day off today so I am resting and stretching and doing my exercises AND fitting in a bit of cleaning and tidying when I feel up to it.

Moving about makes His jewelry a bit more obvious! *chuckle* That simple reminder is enough to tell me to slow down just as I’m ready to push a bit further!

It’s not difficult or time-consuming for Him to do and say this but it is a big reminder of His dominance over me and it does keep me safe! So much more than just kink and a turn on ….

When He has more time He sends orders of what to wear and when to change one for another, we have a large group of them. When He is short on time there might only be one chosen for the day but it’s still an order from Him and it still keeps me mindful.

Dominance doesn’t need to be complicated and it most certainly is more than just kinky sex for us. It just needs to be consistant, even just the small things!

Who knows, maybe if the house is ever our own I’ll get to run around in a tail, dancing and cleaning as I go!! *giggle*

Happy Friday!

Love You Always, Sir! ❤

Published by nijntje

learning, loving, ever evolving into a loving M/s marriage

Published

46 thoughts on “Kinky orders – more than just sex”

      2. Normally yes, I wear one. It really does depend on what’s going on with me physically. Sometimes cramps are really bad so we skip it because that kind of pain and discomfort is not exactly the goal.

        Funerals or church events are a no, because it’s just disrespectful in our minds.

        If the event is not too long than it’s fair game as well, re-lubing is the main issue, if there is no where or no way to do that than it’s a no because harm is not the point! LoL Normally 2 1/2 hours would be the max, then it starts to pinch and pull where it shouldn’t.

        The other time I don’t wear one is if it’s a thing in which I find myself in a dominant position. For example when my brother needs guidance and he’s coming over for my opinion and support. I don’t want my mind split between submissive and dominant, the task at hand is simply too important. Once the life task is done, then the plug can be used.

        I know that might sound odd but I’m basically a collared dominant, if you can imagine that. It’s a choice because it works best for our marriage.

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      3. I didn’t start off as an all day thing BTW, that causes issues with your soft tissues and makes the ordeal painful and anal sex horrid!

        If you are interested I would suggest starting off with an hour daily, than perhaps 1 hour twice daily, than a couple/3 hours and work your way up etc. You may even need a day off in between to let your body heal. If it hurts, stop!

        Too much too fast is NOT your friend. Even if you don’t think you need too I would suggest re-lube every couple of hours at most and glass and metal toys are the best. The others get an odor that you can’t really get rid of, who wants that in their drawer?? LoL and they also start to pinch and pull much quicker!

        Let me know if you have any questions! 😀

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      4. Im.used to wearing them and on a odd day i will be made to wear on gor punishment.
        I hadnt thought of relubing tho.
        The bit i find uncomfy is the jewel that sits outside. It feels like it cuts into ur bum, though it isnt really.
        Maybe lube wud stop that feeling.
        Weve mostly metal plugs, the glass ones are too big. Xxx

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      5. It is most certainly the lube. I use coconut oil for anal and sometimes simply rubbing it around the the outer lip, skin contact area does the trick! If you don’t feel like washing and starting over again! LoL Still though, a few hours and even the inside will dry out … so beware!

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      11. Be careful, I found the first day or two were no big deal but when I went at it too fast from the beginning the second or third day was when trouble hit! By then the tissue was so swollen and irritated that it was very sore. Even the smallest of plugs was painful, not in a good way!
        It seems fine, until it isn’t!

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      13. Hi sweetie, did you say you used coconut oil as lube and to put outside. I put coconut oil cream on, but today it’s certainly biting the skin, I will have to take it out soon. Exactly like how you said would happen. Xxxx

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      14. Yes inside and outside, it helps to keep the skin from pulling on the metal or glass. Once you get a bit swollen it just takes time for things to heal before using a plug again.
        I would give it a day or so before trying again, The more you push it the worse it will get at this point. Good Luck!

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      15. Okay, thanks for your help. Master doesn’t want me to get glass plugs, he’s worried in case it breaks inside xxx I bought coconut oil today as I remembered you said you used it.
        Thanks again xxxxxx

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      16. No problem! Ask anytime. I find the bonus of coconut is that it lasts longer and is way cheaper!! LoL Be sure to add a good amount, if it’s cold it will be in a solid state and easier to apply! 😉

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      18. Sorry to message again. But how on earth do you get a good dollop of coconut oil when its solid, inside before it melts. Does it need to be in the fridge. It melted by the time i got it on my fingers. Lol.xxxx

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      19. That’s no problem!! 🙂
        I don’t put it in the fridge but I do keep it in a cool, dry place. I take some out of the jar and put it in a tupperware container that is much smaller and shallower. Use the plug itself to scoop some coconut out and then use my finger to spread it out. Eventually the oil will have a groove in it that fits the plug nicely, just stick it in and spin it around until mostly covered. Do the rest with your finger if needed! If I get a chance I’ll post this w/pics! 🙂

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      20. I meant how you said you put a big lump in your ass hole first, or do you not mean that. I smeared the plug and my bum but didn’t actually put any inside, not like I can with cream. But thank you and yes I’ve seen your blog, so thanks for that too. Xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      21. No I didn’t mean that, sorry, although I suppose you could if the coconut is cool enough and not melted. Like in the picture, I suppose it would sit on your finger just as well.
        Anyhow, i find the plug normally has enough on it not to have to worry! 😀 😀 Good Luck!

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      26. Oh boy, how do you cope with a plug all day, I’ve found the coconut oil cream better for comfort but crikey does the metal bite into your skin. I put loads on plug and bum so there shudda been plenty of lube there. Even asked Master if I could wear panties so any excess cream didn t stain my clothes, that would not be a good luck wearing a navy dress, showing a white stain just around crotch area. Lol. I managed about 2 hours before it started biting, but even thirty minutes in, I went to sit down to put my makeup on, nearly jumped through the roof. Maybe I needed to take it out and in again with more cream again after the 2 hours. I’ve even put a small container of cream in my handbag. Xxxx

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      27. Yup, 2 hours is plenty of time, I would reapply then.
        I also use different ones, not just one, that keeps the area being ‘irritated’ moving around so it doesn’t get overly sore.
        Is it always the heart shaped one you use, I can see that being a problem.
        Remember to take it s.l.o.w!! Only an hour or so to start … i would wait a few weeks before adding an hour or two depending on how your body is reacting and take every third day off!
        I know it’s tempting to rush but as you now know, it doesn’t go well. You should likely ask to have a few days off before trying again. That would be my advice anyway. I don’t wear it when working either remember …. that’s Mon to Fri 7 to 5 usually. I think you are just going too far too fast my friend! Good Luck 😀

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      28. Thanks hun, as always that’s my problem, rushing and going too fast. I’ve a silicone one, same size and one bigger one which is punishment plug. So you recommend having a couple ? I think the others I’ve got are too small now but I will check then ask Master. Thanks again. It is my main problem, rushing into things and you told me to go slow xxxx

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      29. Yes I would say rushing is the problem here! LoL
        I still use the smallest metal plug even though I’ve been doing this for some time now. It still works and it’s actually good because it makes your muscles hold tight. Keeping them working is important!!!
        If you have to change them or lube them every couple of hours you are going to stay mindful anyway! 😉 Good luck, and go slow! LoL

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  3. My girl and I have talked about this at various times. Where she works right not isn’t conducive to anything like what you’re wearing, but we’ve been looking into something a little more visible, but no less meaningful. I’ve been searching high and low for the ‘right’ design and I think in the last week I may have found it. Of course, it’s not in this country, so it may be at least 2 months before it can be in it’s rightful place. But when you want the ‘best’, you invest in it, right?

    In terms of the future, it will be nice reading about your ‘tail swishin’ adventures!

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    1. Always a way … *wink*

      I can’t wait to have some more, and freer ‘tail swishing’!! LoL I also look forward to reading what you have decided on! That’s exciting … 😀 Assuming you want to share of course.

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      1. “Assuming you want to share of course..”
        Never fear, there will be more updates as time goes on. Never been one for living the BDSM life in a vacuum. Tried it a couple of times and yeah it’s fun to do, but when you can share your adventures with others of the same ilk, it’s that much more enjoyable! At least I’ve found it to be. So stay tuned!

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  4. Pingback: Rules … what are they exactly? – nijntje & The Bear

  5. I love this. For some reason, wearing or making someone wear a plug during day to day activities really turns me on. I used to have a slight D/s relationship with a co-worker and I used to make her wear one quite regularly to work and during other public times. It turned me on tremendously to know she had it stuffed up her ass while we had conversations with co-workers or people outside of the office. Especially when I challenged her to wear a very large one. It turned her on a lot as well. Her pussy was always soaked when I checked. I enjoyed it tremendously when she had to deal with a client while it was filling her ass. Those were fun times. Another time I found it quite amusing was when she had a large one inside and I was making her suck me under the desk. Her mom showed up unannounced. She didn’t catch us, but we cut it close. Having a conversation with her mom while I knew what was in her ass was priceless.

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    1. We never do anything that would interfere with work, the risk is not worth it and besides you are there to do a job and give it your full attention. All of our ‘fun’ is had outside of work hours. 🙂

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      1. Well, it was a bit of a risk, but to be honest, it was relatively safe. Because of how the office was laid out, it was easy to know when someone was headed towards us. Also, we would often do stuff once people had gone for the day. So it was pretty low risk overall and it didn’t interfere with work b/c due to the nature of the work, there was a lot of down time where we were just waiting for the day to end. I think a lot of this actually evolved out of boredom. Haha.

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      2. Oh i hear yah! LoL

        It’s always important to take the risks into consideration. I know many people do amount of kink at work as well, lunch breaks etc.

        As long as you are aware of the risks the rest is up to you. 🙂

        Welcome to the site BTW, feel free to comment and ask questions. I don’t write sex stories but i do like inspirations for future posts! LoL

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  6. Thanks! I appreciate that. I’m sure I’ll be around here and there. I guess from your comment that you looked at my blog. Haha. Maybe it will prompt some thoughts! I’m a perv. What can I say? Nice to meet you!

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    1. *chuckling* No actually, i said it because although it’s a D/s site i don’t write about my sex life or stories like other do. Just wanted to give you the heads up! Most of my posts are not as kinky detailed as this one … *wink*

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