Finally – almost!

Things are finally settled with Easter.

Things are finally settled with the boys (for now).

Things are finally getting settled with us.

The roller coaster that is my life leaves very little time for wants. Most of what happens here is on a daily needs basis. I’m not talking about M/s D/s descriptions, I’m talking basic life needs.

Play and what we would consider ‘relaxation’ is very hard to come by. Anything hard and noisy is what we crave, anything hard and noisy is what triggers the boys! LoL Of course!

They very rarely leave the house, when they do it’s never at the same time. Our only ‘alone’ time is Sunday during The Walking Dead, assuming something doesn’t ‘come up’ which of course it did again yesterday! *sigh*

We’ve gone back to the beginning so many times I have lost track. Trying to find new ways and new ideas to recapture an old feeling. A feeling we know just how to get, but can’t. Not yet anyway …

Sometimes it feels to me that trying the new things and trying to find a replacement is almost worse than just sitting out a spell and waiting. Getting ‘half way’ to something can sometimes be worse than not starting the journey at all, or at least for me it can.

I think for The Bear it gets confusing, so He feels lost and unsure. For me it gets frustrating, not being able to put my thoughts into some form He can just ‘see’ and understand.

So back to the beginning we go, we know the road we have traveled, we know the path we would like to take again but while we are in waiting we are traveling new roads. Trying to not compare the two and trying to enjoy it for what it is instead of what it’s missing.

Along the way we have found some new favourites, like bastinado, and we have certainly had to maintain great communication. When neither of us even knows if this is something we’d like to try getting the thoughts and words out is even more important than ever! LoL

So we are here, and we are playing and we are trying, but I can’t deny that I am missing that feeling of ‘lost and exhausted’ and not even knowing how I got back into my bed ….. *wink*

Some day! 132020f5af8a1190ca0515f9d0dd95ff



6 thoughts on “Finally – almost!

  1. Back to the beginning: Been there, done that so many times it’s not even humorous. Ok, it is a little bit, considering how many times it actually HAS BEEN, but I digress.

    Going back to the beginning can have some bright spots as well. You already know what works (for the most part), it’s just finding the right key to the lock and break it open again for a longer period of time. And too, you’re in the same room, that helps immensely (believe me, you don’t want to be doing this the other way…).

    Wash, rinse, but don’t repeat. Only repeat when you’ve found the right combination of things that works for the long term. I wish you both success on this journey, don’t give up! You’re nearly there.


    1. Thanks, Leathers. You are right, the beginning can be exciting and new it’s just a matter of finding the combination that works for now.

      There must be a way, right?!?! LoL Lord I hope so, or it will be a very long 5 or so years yet to come! UGH

      At the very least, with the boys mentally balanced we can at least ‘go away’ from time to time, … at least I hope we are there now. Wish me luck over the next few months, if it works we get a holiday, somewhere where noise is not an issue!! LoL I best not get ahead of myself lest I be let down … 😉 Fingers crossed though.


      1. Is there a way? OF course there is. Where there’s a will, etc. You’ve got the foundation down pretty well, it’s just finding the right building materials to get the frame back in place and building on that. You’ve been there before, so keep plugging things in until the right combination connects. It’s a lot of trial and error, but hey, it’s also fun, right? Why else would we continue to do it? As you said, you discovered bastinado on the last run through. What are you going to discover on this iteration? Inquiring minds like to find out!

        And with the boys being better balanced, you and the Bear can get away from time to time. That’s golden. Being able to detach, go away and recharge the collective batteries, not having to keep the ears peeled for what might be transpiring on the other side of the house is very important. Make the most of those times believe me when I say they can be few and far between for a lot of us.

        Looking forward to hearing about your coming adventures.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think writing it out might have just sparked a new interest in experimenting for me! LoL Go figure … maybe your enthusiasm helped too. *chuckle*

        It is always helpful for me to write so I can sort my thoughts and find solutions, and thank you for chiming in! Knowing I’m not just talking to myself always helps too!


      3. Hey, wherever I can help, just ask. I’m pretty amenable. And no, you’re most definitely not talking to yourself. At least here. At home, I can’t help you with.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. LOL At home I can’t get a word in! I have a very talkative almost 18 y/o, very passionate and very articulate! 😉
        It’s just nice to get feed back, so thanks again. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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