I have a friend …

I know, shocking! *chuckle* Don’t worry I was surprised too. but her personality and outstanding kind nature won me over!

I only ever met her because she married a friend of mine from back in my teens/very early twenties. Back when life was not within my control but I was just starting to really stand straight, and really grow in my own confidence.

There was a time back then when I had to leave an abusive relationship and was left with nowhere to go. Okay, I left a lot of abusive relationships but this was a ‘romantic’ one. Not being one to express myself or burden anyone I didn’t say a word to anyone.

I wouldn’t have gone back to my parents, that would be out of the pan and into the fire, no thank you! So I decided to basically sleep/stay at work. I had to close up and do the books anyway and I had the key and no one really cared one way or the other so there I stayed.

Well this friend was on his way home that first night and noticed the light, he popped in and knocked, he knew I would open up and I did. Some questions and conversation later I told him there was no way I was going anywhere SO he said fine, then I’m staying the night too.

The middle of the night, in the middle of ‘the strip’ was no where for a lady and possibly not safe should someone notice. We did that for a few nights, he would come in after closing and stay the night to be sure I was safe. No, we were never ‘romantic’, it was more of a big brother relationship we shared.

So this friend of mine, she’s his wife. I met her some years later after he and I ran into each other again and realized we now live very close to each other. He knows the Bear very well, I know his wife very well. We enjoy each others company which says something because both she and I would rather be alone than social. LoL

He and the Bear a very much alike, as a matter of fact I mentioned to them the personality profiles and sure enough he and the Bear are the same! No surprise there, to me or his wife. *giggle*

She is always very respectful of him and he is very obviously protective of her. I don’t mean muscle meat head type although I’m sure he would raise dukes if needed, but protective of her emotional state, happiness and over all well-being.

There is no doubt in my mind that she never doubts that he has her back and I have no doubt he feels the same about her.

They have 3 children and some issues to deal with as well, don’t we all? They make time for each other and communicate their needs and feelings openly and honestly. Like I said, we are friends, we talk. ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t know if they are kinky or not, I don’t see any obvious symbolic adornments but ….. does it matter?

She relies on him for strength and he supports her in this crazy world of ours, together they are strong. She happily follows his lead because he never leaves her …..

They don’t have labels but they have what we have.

Like I said, I don’t know if they are kinky, but does it matter? At some point and for whatever length of time we will all have to put our kink on hold. Are we any less D/s because of it?

What say you?

8 thoughts on “I have a friend …

  1. Sophie just wrote a post for my blog. She discusses how she feels itโ€™s just like any relationship just plus some great sex. My husband is like your friend and weโ€™re not kinky. I think itโ€™s the people in the relationship and how they want it to be. I may not be a sub but I have a great sex life. ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s interesting that Sophie feels that way, it may be because she grew up with you guys for a lot of her time, if I remember that correctly. The truth is most relationships are not like that, like yours, hence the high divorce rate.

      My point here was that you can have something very similar without the kink and labels. It’s what my husband and I had for the first 15 years before we added kink. As you said, it’s about the way you want to be with each other. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. No matter how many ‘pauses’ you go through, you’re no less kinky than anyone else. I would say without reservation my wife is kinkier than I am. And she’s been ‘retired’ from the scene for probably 10-12 years now. It’s not something one turns on and off like a light switch. What you are, you are whether you’re actively practicing, or just watching from the sidelines.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I agree, you don’t need to be practicing to be kinky, I’m sure I (and we actually) always were, we just didn’t know there were labels and there was much more to try. But that’s another post entirely! LoL

      My point with this post was that you can have a D/s type relationship even if you are not kinky, even if you do not use the labels. The ideals and connection can be the same, minus the showy part of it all. Or so I think ….

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I honestly think people get hung up on the labels, and think that they’re needed in order to be referred to as ‘kinky’. Which is really not true at all. Certainly if you go back to the 60s and 70s, there were people playing way outside what was considered ‘the scene’ and they’ve made mention in books and treatises that what they were doing ‘felt right’ to them, and only later on did they discover that there was a whole community that encompassed and celebrated what they were doing.

        So yes, the labels really are secondary to what you and your partner(s) are used to doing, enjoy sharing and so on. The ideas, connections and what you have are the most important of all. It doesn’t really matter in the long run if it has a label!

        Liked by 1 person

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