Just joking, sort of!
Sunday night came and went and we watched a show on TV. UGH
The youngest is now up and out of the house and the oldest now decides he wants to watch the show at home. With his girlfriend! *chuckle*
So not only are we not alone but we are also hosting! Good grief.
I was really looking forward to being able to play just a bit louder. I know I’m not the only one craving it either. Ever since we changed things up a bit and freed my brain to ‘play at will’ things have been exciting and dare I say we have both been a bit more feisty!
We still play a fair amount so it’s not that you need to feel too sorry for me, and it helps that the boy’s mental states seem to be balanced for now. It’s my mental state that needs to find balance at this point!
Perhaps balance isn’t the right term, I’m mentally good and happy and content so it’s not that. The thing I get from rough play and impact is that total release of pent-up energy. Whether it be good or bad the energy starts to build and my body starts to tighten, my mind starts spinning like a top and the freight train of thoughts is non stop.
I remember in the beginning when we started experimenting with play and things were getting to the intensity that I needed, I had a feeling that I don’t ever remember having before!
Laying and resting and basking in some wonderful aftercare the Bear asked me what I was thinking. It took me aback because right at that moment there was nothing on my mind! Nothing! I literally burst out laughing almost reminiscent of the lunatics in movies.
Of course He was a bit amused but also a bit concerned. He asked again what was up? I had to tell Him that I don’t ever before in my life remember my mind being quiet, never!
edit ** Well maybe that’s a bit of a lie, I used to get ‘quiet’ when I was cutting but that’s not exactly safe, or sane is it? Although that wasn’t exactly quiet like this is, that was more of a trance. **
I’m a thinker, my mind is always going. I know everyone says that but go ahead and check out that personality I keep telling you about, it’s really something more! Anyway, this is the only thing I have ever found that actually completely relaxes me. After we get a chance to play at the levels I crave I can sleep and focus even better than before. It’s like all that energy has been released and I can start again, for a while, until things start to build up once more and then I find not having the opportunity to play even more frustrating.
I was not sure where this post was going to go, but ….. here we are! *chuckle*
So Bear, time to search for that second property?? *wink*