I know it shouldn’t but ….

I’ll be the first to tell you that my own self worth and sexual confidence should have nothing to do with what anyone thinks or says but me. I believe that too, it’s not just words, it’s the truth, however …

You can’t deny that having someone else interested and invested in being with you and playing with you and exploring every inch of your body helps in that confidence and sexual pride. D/s in sex and BDSM where time and energy is spent on play and ‘torment’ and simply causing actions and reactions from the person under your control goes a long way to make that person feel completely worth your time and sexy as h3ll!

When He takes the time to plan and play this is what I feel like without much thought or effort …

As a married person I don’t have the luxury of getting that type of recognition else where. That means that all of that type of encouragement comes from one place, my husband. Whether its sexy, playful teasing and flirting or a full contact ‘sport’, all of it comes from Him. When it seems i’m not worth the effort this is what i’m left feeling …

Sorry about the graphics folks, not really my usual methods but I think it gets the point across.

I’m a perfectionist to begin with which means nothing I do is ever quite good enough anyway but when I get into these ruts I start to really nit pick and pull apart every inch of my body. The smallest mark or change is enough to hijack my brain for days or more.

I don’t feel sexy, I don’t move sexy and I don’t act sexy. Under the current state of all other affairs, it’s not helping!

It is just kink and sex and it really shouldn’t be that important BUT unfortunately as part of the ‘human condition’ certain things are simply beyond my control. This side effect is unfortunately one of those things.

 

 

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