Scattered thoughts, a bit of update ….

The Bear and I are doing well despite the hectic day-to-day. Our connection is still good and play time might be scattered here and there but the truth of the dynamic is very much in tact. Better than good actually, it’s the thing providing stability, strength and a moment of calm in an otherwise turbulent and confusing day. We are exploring and using new methods and they seem to be working …. so far so good.

This leads me to another thought, talking, communicating, honesty.

Part of the reason our connection stays on track is because we talk, a lot, about anything and everything that might be on our minds. I write actually, I like to write, it helps me to get all the ideas straight and in a way the Bear can follow before passing them over to him.

Not just on this site but I have another for giving exact step by step ways I think will help me that I would like to try. I spell out exactly how I felt about things we have tried, what worked, what didn’t, what I might be uncertain about. All of it.

Most times the Bear is game to try or work on what ever it is I have spelled out for a few reasons. One I am a very logical thinker, two I know myself quite well, I don’t do ‘denial’ and I’m honest, maybe to my own detriment sometimes!! *giggle* And three because He knows it’s coming from an honest place and not a means of trying to manipulate any outcomes in my favour.

The Bear is not the type to say ‘no’ simply because I asked, He is not the type to play games with our happiness and I have no need for Him to say ‘no’ just because. Spitefulness does not a dominant make, at least not mine! If He feels it’s a bad idea than so be it, He leads with integrity and purpose. We are not about masquerades and B/s!

I think the reason we seem to be able to keep going regardless of the craziness around us is because this has never been a game. To us this is not about hiding behind a mask to appear more dominant or more submissive, it’s actually about being completely and totally honest and open with each other.

Respectful, honest communication ….. and then I follow His lead. Simple as that.

Now, it’s MY turn to go play with the snowblower!! hehe

 

11 thoughts on “Scattered thoughts, a bit of update ….

  1. I’m glad you’re finding ways to make it work 🙂
    At one point Sir wondered if he was doing the whole “dominance” thing right because he never told me No or denied me anything. Saying no out of spite or ‘just because’ isn’t a good way to get respect as a Dom and would have made me angry. Sir always knows when I’m trying to get something out of him, but he also loves to spoil me! I believe simple honesty always works better than some of the ‘games’ others play.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My life growing up was full of people putting on appearances and full of ‘games’, I don’t see any of them now. I have distanced myself completely, doing that in my own life would be ridiculous.

      Been there, done that. I want something real now not someone else’s ‘show’.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Feeling closer to you every day nijntje. I believe our communication is one of our strongest qualities. It wasn’t always but it is now. It has never been a game, with us. I don’t believe either of us could be happy that way. Your writing to me has been most helpful in getting us both what we need. Love you nijntje

    Like

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