Toys

Part of our arrangement has always been that at the end of play the one who cleans and puts away the ‘toys’ is me. The Bear will normally return the paddles, floggers and canes but anything that needs cleaning is up to me.

Sometimes things get put away relatively quickly after play and a bit of aftercare and other times I’m so spent and out of it that they wait until morning. The rule is that the toys must be cleaned and put away before I come downstairs to start my day.

Having to crawl out of bed after play and some downtime certainly plays on my mind and maintains the submissive feelings. Sometimes I’m still a bit spacey and don’t really think on it much but other times handling each toy and remembering or wondering ‘which part that was’ plays into the feeling of following and being under His control as well.

Some times I’m so spent that I can barely crawl out of bed to get my night collar placed, on those days the toys stay and wait until morning. The feeling of seeing them again after a good night’s sleep is a bit surreal because that normally only happens when I was ‘floating’ the night before and remembering is almost impossible! It quickly brings to mind the fact that I was completely surrendered and under His control.

When those mornings happen during the weekend I know I will find Him and be able to crawl to Him and be His once more but on the weekdays when He has gone to work this could quickly turn into subdrop! The feeling of seeing and cleaning the toys will quickly put me into ‘that space’ especially when I can hardly remember what happened.

This is more a word of advice for anyone reading, the Bear is very good at keeping in contact with me to be sure I don’t drop. When I’m not working I get tasks assigned that I report on keeping me from coming down to earth too quickly, when I am working I get told to wear His ring with constant messages throughout the day, even if He is busy. He can always find 1 minute to send a note even if He can’t wait around for a response.

Little things keep the flow and stop any bad feelings from forming or taking hold, but that’s another post.

So what about you guys? Who cleans the toys after you play? Do you have a rule? Do you find them to be a trigger like I do? Does it keep you feeling submissive/do you think it would keep you feeling submissive having to deal with them the morning after?

9 thoughts on “Toys

  1. Hm that’s interesting. HD cleans the toys most of the time. I suppose because he’s more conscious of messes than I am, and he’s OCD about certain things. Like you, I am normally too spent to even think about any kind of cleanup, and he can’t stand to wait until the next day.
    I’m sure if I were the one to clean them, the act would promote the submissive feelings. We’re usually together quite a bit after any kind of play and subdrop is rare, so it wouldn’t have any effect on that.

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    1. Yeah most days I’m okay after a short bit to clean up but sometimes it’s just ‘game over’! LoL
      I think the idea of subdrop got confused with the rest of the post, it wasn’t really the point I started on. Do you ever find a bit of drop once he needs to leave? Like after a nice weekend together or for work? Not so much just after playing. I used to struggle with that a bit after a nice long weekend of being connected and then back to work on Monday ….

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      1. I don’t know if it’s sub drop or just general sadness that he’s leaving, but I am usually pretty down the night before. Most times I cry although not always. Since I’m not currently employed and he gets about a week off to be home each month, when he’s here we get to spend a lot of time together. It’s wonderful, but it makes the parting even harder.
        The only time I have experienced drop with HD was when he and I were playing while he was away for work. He ended up falling asleep and, when I couldn’t get a response from him, all the adrenaline came crashing down.

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      2. Yes it’s that sadness that I am referring to, some call it drop as well. The basic sense of longing and melancholy that hits when they are not within reach. An empty space left behind …
        I no longer get that, it’s not so much drop from playing, because that never really happens, but no drop in the over all happy feeling no matter where He is at the time. Not sure if this is making any sense at all. Despite the fact that I miss Him I’m still very much happy and in a good mood, no longer have moments of ‘loss’ I guess would be the best descriptor.

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      3. I can relate to that. After the second day or so that HD is gone, the sense of loss fades. I still miss him and I would rather he be here, but I don’t feel the overall loneliness or sadness. I think I have adjusted to the lack of his presence here so it doesn’t effect me as severely as in the beginning.

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  2. I’m the one that cleans the toys, and its always right immediately after…too long in a medical field I think… Because it’s right after I’m usually feeling pretty submissive already.
    I think if I did see our toys the next day it would bring me to a submissive mindset… Maybe I’ll have to clean them but not put them right away 😉

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    1. It could! It certainly seems to for me. Sometimes He leaves cuffs on the bed or something else not so obvious to others out somewhere in the house. It gets my mind going every time! 😉
      I try to get to the toys asap but some days I just can’t function! They are wiped down and set aside to not touch anything else but the cleaning and sanitizing has to come later. They are non porous so at least there is that!

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    1. They are, they are the real reason I got into BDSM. It’s not always brought about by ‘pain’ but that is where it started. Sex and orgasms are really secondary at best TBH.
      By the time I get deep enough I’m not communicating or even moving on my own much, the Bear needs to be conscious about when to stop because I really am beyond being able to tell Him.
      My mind is completely clear, not one single thought (you probably understand the implications there) – just feeling. Once I’m no longer responding to the impact play it’s time to stop. The coming down is hard though, lots of chemicals having to re-balance themselves. I could write an entire post on just that! LoL
      It’s like floating on the water with your arms and legs out and no movement, have you ever done that?
      Check out this link, it describes the steps pretty well. 🙂
      https://modemworld.me/ds-essays/finding-space-part-1-subspace/

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