It might not seem like it here on this blog but my life has been extremely frustrating and hectic these past few months (or years). The last couple of weeks in particular have been h3ll on wheels BUT the Bear and I have been even more in tune and connected, not less.
This post might be a bit of a mess because I have so many things on my brain right now but I just wanted to jot a couple of them down here, for my own record should the doubt ever creep back in. So if you are reading and it gets a bit messy, I apologize!
I have finally figured it out, I have finally gotten over the idea that I can’t just tell Him what it is I’m hoping for. I used to have this nagging feeling that I couldn’t just speak, I shouldn’t have to explain it out and be specific. He should just be able to figure it out, or if it was natural He would get it, ‘do’ it etc. etc. Yeah, that’s a bunch of bullsh*t, it takes two – that means ‘ME’ and Him, not just Him. Again, that is just another form of thinking He should read my mind, I think we’ve been over this before.
Our time and opportunity hasn’t changed much but I have been taking much more advantage of the few minutes we have. If He doesn’t see the opportunity I mention it, the choice is still His I just happen to be much more inventive! *wink*
We might not have hours to play and enjoy each other without interruption but we do have some moments here and there. By the end of the day these small actions together add up to much more than any one escapade anyway. By the end of the day we are both satisfied and exhausted and no one is any the wiser.
I’m not repeating my mistake, if I need something I ask, if I see opportunity I tell and if the mood strikes I tease ….. and guess what? I’ve been getting much more of His dominance in return. THIS feels much more natural, we’ve been here before but reading other’s always seems to make me question it. I’m done questioning, I’m acting and He is reacting and I feel much more His than when I don’t follow my instincts.
So yes the past few weeks of life have been h3llish but we’ve only been getting stronger and deeper into our relationship. There is much around us to be frustrated about but we are happy regardless.
Love You Always Sir! ❤ Evil …… *wink*