‘Repeat after me, nijntje.’

Domination/submission 2 Minutes

Punishment Conundrum Conclusion – How to remember

Sorry to keep you all hanging and some concerned! The entire ordeal was already done and behind me the first chance we had a moment together alone. The Bear is very good at reading my needs and He never makes me hurt psychologically, that is not cool here, not the type of torture I enjoy! That type of thing causes damage and is abusive, period. Not part of a healthy TPE dynamic in our opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now ….

Anyhow, The Bear did in fact have a very effective plan to help me put closure on the whole ordeal. He made me ‘repeat after him’ and touched on all the things He knew were bothering me and all the things that I needed to hear.

I’m only human and didn’t do anything wrong …. sometimes days get busy and fly by and I’m not to beat myself up over it.

If I want to be sure not to do this again I should come up with an in your face way of making sure it’s seen, such as writing things on the white board or putting a string around my …err finger! (The Bear has a sense of humour.)  So I am tasked with coming up with that for next time.

I will have the appointment made the next day (today, done!)

I am sorry  to let you down, Bear. I am forgiven …

To keep me feeling like I am held accountable He said that next time it will be this with a warmed up backside. The End!

He gave me just what I needed to get out of my head, feel like I have done something about making it up and given next steps to keep it from happening again. Effective use of His dominance to help me with my guilt.

No there was no spanking, or insertion of things in places or any other kinky action … Let’s face it that’s just a ‘good time’ disguised as a ‘punishment’ if you are kinky, a masochist or into humiliation play. My travels have shown me that it is not effective and does not help you to become better at whatever it is you are trying to change. Explains why you are getting punished so often for the same or similar infraction, you’re enjoying it at the most basic of levels. Positive reinforcement of a negative action …

So The Bear took care of my mental state, I have next steps for better results next time, I was slightly uncomfortable having to admit I’m human (go figure right?) and He put His strength to use for me.

If we want to play kinky, we’ll just do that. We don’t need an infraction to make it happen.

Oh, right … one more thing. If I hadn’t spelled out exactly how I was feeling about the whole thing He probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it, it really wasn’t a big deal realistically speaking. I would have felt let down and He would have been confused because NO He still can’t read my mind. Instead I was honest, He took control and I got closure. Looks like I’m finally getting the hang of this! 😀 *Woot Woot*

Thank you Bear, it was nice cuddling with you with a clear conscience! ❤

Love You Always Sir ❤

Published by nijntje

learning, loving, ever evolving into a loving M/s marriage

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12 thoughts on “‘Repeat after me, nijntje.’”

  3. I think at least 4 out of 5 times I mess up they go uncorrected and that makes it hard to stay focused and work to improve. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Yes, that does make it tough because it feels like you are not noticed and good work is also not noticed. What’s the point …. right?

      What I have learned is that what I considered a fail was not what He considered but if I speak honestly about it He takes care of it. Sometimes like this example, sometimes He simply says it’s not so, but either way I feel noticed and validated.

      It’s still all about honest communication, perhaps you could do that same? Maybe you do and I could be way off base …

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      Reply

      1. Good points.
        We definitely need to talk about it more but in a way that is not criticizing her actions. I know part of it is that she feels I do so much she doesn’t want to complain about the little things.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Very valid statements, you most certainly do not want to criticize, there is a proper way to speak.

        Have you considered writing out your perceived infractions and why you feel they are worth consideration? Perhaps even how you feel because of them and why you feel you need to make amends? Basically talk about you, not her.

        I completely understand why you feel you should be quiet about it all but the reality is that when we refuse to hand over our thoughts and feelings what we are really doing is maintaining control of the situation.

        It’s unfair to wish they would take control of something we haven’t handed over …

        Liked by 1 person

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