The Punishment Conundrum

I messed something up today, and I really hate that I did. I have a hard time not doing things perfectly especially if it’s a let down to the Bear! I’ll try to explain …

fa1cd86f3bfad2d5638d27b2a91ef6e1I was supposed to make an appointment for the Bear today, well try to make an appointment anyway, I’m not sure if they have anything available when I want but I was going to look into it.

I remembered first thing in the morning but had to run around with the kids, trying to get the oldest ready and out the door on time and getting the little one to school on time as well. I had a few minutes in between that and when the next kid came in the door, this was my time to dress for the day and make the call, but I got side tracked texting with Bear and answering a comment. UGH

I was a bit flustered and then the time to start work again came. Once I got into my work space I realized I had a big mess to clean up that really couldn’t wait, so I got to that …. Then it was time to entertain the little one I have here for work and we did some candy sorting for treat bags, some singing and dancing and pictures for Halloween.

Next thing you know it’s practically noon and I had forgotten all about making the darn appointment, until the Bear asked what I had found out! OH CRAP! Okay, sorry, I’ll do that right now …   :O

*ring ring ring* no answer … The office was closed at noon today and will not be open again until tomorrow! UGH It was 12:02 …. of course!

Now none of this was blatant disregard or malice and likely not worthy of a punishment realistically speaking, BUT being the perfectionist that I am, I will continue to beat myself up over not following through. All Night Long! Maybe not a constant sweat exactly but the thought will continue to creep in and out of my head all night, likely even in my sleep.

I absolutely hate letting the Bear down, even if it is all an accidental misstep.

It’s not exactly a punishable offense because none of it was purposeful but not making amends will have me beating myself up, instead of moving on with a clear conscience and a fresh start.

UGH! I wonder what He’ll decide ….

6 thoughts on “The Punishment Conundrum

  1. That sounds so tough, nijntje. For me as well, sometimes an external discipline/correction can create a more definitive closure. Also DD’s punishments are always less harsh than I am towards myself. I hope you get the closure you need. *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I hope you get closure soon! I wonder if you can do something that provides the closure so that you don’t have to wait on the Bear to do it. (might shorten the time of distress for you?)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh I did, thank you Miriam. The Bear is very good at taking care of my needs. He came up with a way to let me feel like I made up for it and a way to help insure it doesn’t happen again. He knows I beat myself up way tooo much! I was just too tired to get back on here and explain.

        Liked by 1 person

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