So what was it anyway?

As I said in my last post, I was a bit frustrated from the night before and that’s what started our entire shift in the first place. Now this part is entirely on me but it’s something I still struggle with ….

On Sunday night we had a wonderful surprise! It was the season premiere of the Walking Dead and we had both forgotten because we don’t watch it BUT the boys will usually go to Gramma’s house to watch the show with her! The last few times last season the youngest had stayed home but to our surprise and relief he wanted to go. Yays!! on many levels that was a good thing so The Bear drove the boys off to Gramma’s.

Of course my mind starts racing, this is the first time we have the house to ourselves in months and even though it’s only an hour it’s an hour I hope to take advantage of! Now I know The Bear doesn’t ‘switch gears’ very quickly and since this alone time was a huge surprise I thought I’d help to get Him thinking in my direction. *wink*

When He got home He found me naked on a fur throw, waiting for Him on the couch. He’s always said if we were alone I’d be that way when home so why not go for it! I was also hoping this would be obvious to my wants as well. The last time we tried any impact we got as far as warm up and then were interrupted and had to stop, I was really hoping to continue.

Now when He got home He was pleased for sure and enjoying watching and rubbing and just plain being close to His bunny, but we had been in the middle of a show when He left so He got right back into TV mode when He returned! UGH Like I said, He doesn’t switch gears very quickly …. 😛

What I should have done was made my want/need really by this time clear and asked for some nice impact play while we had a chance and while we could do it IN the house instead of hiding in the now very chilly garage. But I didn’t …. by the time He told me to lay across Him so that He could rub my backside (and likely more from there) it was already 10 minutes to Him having to leave again and obviously not nearly enough time, so I knew I was going to have to go without.

The frustration of not being able to get release coupled with the frustration of Him not reading my mind is what started all of this. Silly isn’t it? If I had just spoken up I can bet things would have been very different and we both would have been able to get some of what we both very sorely need.

Yes I still struggle with asking for what I need, that has always been my biggest hurdle. When I’m strong I do it much more easily, when I’m already running on reserves it’s more difficult. Work in progress …. but let’s hope that next Sunday both kids will once again be off to Gramma’s!

Next time I will be sure to bring down the ‘toy box’ while I’m sitting and waiting. Perhaps a pair of panties as well …

Since I’m not to be wearing any anyway this should be doubly fun! *wink* And if all else fails I will just ask ….

Love You Always Sir ❤