Sometimes Rabbits Rush

I did something the other night that when thinking clearly I knew I shouldn’t. I rushed the Bear.

I was unhappy and frustrated about something from the night before (just in general truthfully), I was over tired and over stressed and just plain worn out. Of course my mind had been working overtime for 24 hours and I needed release. None of that was possible and the Bear wasn’t ready to talk, so of course I just kept asking!

Now I’m not taking all the blame here, He could have easily told me to stop, not now, we’ll discuss this later ….. any of those things would have been enough to put me back into following and honestly all I need to get calm again. It really is that simple for me, one word, one action and I’m more than ready to follow Him, but He didn’t so I just kept going. No there were no rude comments, no yelling or anything of that nature but I was asking things I knew He wasn’t ready to handle right then, He was just as worn and tired as me. Yes dominants are human too, go figure.

The answers I got were not what I wanted to hear and they were not what He wanted to give either, I don’t believe, but they did come out. Walking this tight rope between dominant and submissive for me can get to be pretty taxing especially when He’s not at the top of His game, my instincts to step up and take control are instinctual and strong. No I don’t mean overbearing and nagging control freak, I mean the one with the responsibility and carries the weight. The one who guides the way, cares for others and takes the hit when the sh*t hits the fan, because to me that is the dominant side of my personality and I still use it daily when Sir is not here and with things that still fall squarely on my lap. Some things I am simply better suited to handle, life experience has made it so.

The difference between D/s and non-D/s let’s say is that I can and do come to Him with my stress and worry. Before this our relationship was very similar but I kept the burden entirely on MY shoulders. I suppose the short of it is that this is what D/s has changed for me, I now share the burdens of life and can actually stop and put it down at HIS feet once in a while when it gets to be too heavy.

So we had a poorly timed discussion and I went to bed without my collar. Things were just not balanced and neither of us is about pretend or make-believe so that is what was decided.

By morning The Bear came around my side of the bed to touch at will and wish me a good day, He messaged His good morning to me as usual from work later and said ‘nijntje’, I had already put on my day collar and was still wearing my cuffs as usual …..

We had a misstep, a slight shift along the way but neither of us are about over reacting or being rash. So by mid morning and a handful of texts later we were back on track and hopefully have learned something for the next time.

But we really do need to find time to sit down and talk just about us, please Sir. And I really do need some play to release some stress, please too!

I have no idea how that is going to work, the last few months (yes months) every single time we get started someone stops by and interrupts, or the boys need us and find us! Seriously … this has been the better part of the last 12 months. The last time I was hanging from the ceiling it was more of a sexual experience which is fantastic for sure but for me BDSM is a fantastic way to release stress and really has nothing to do with sex, it is not needed and not the goal. (For those reading, obviously The Bear already knows this.) We have lots of kinky sex, but it’s just not the same.

We are never alone, someone is always home, and the things that work well for me are usually rather loud. *sigh* I am still frustrated for sure, but I’m not frustrated with the Bear. Hummm, are you missing it too Bear? Is that why you were off as well? Or is that just me?

Shall we just buy a second home?? *giggle*

Love You Always Sir! ❀

 

 

21 thoughts on “Sometimes Rabbits Rush

  1. This is why I am so drawn to you. I love your honesty. I love your abilities to put things into words. You are not afraid to put it out there, how it really is. I come across a lot of blogs about D/s and they almost seem like all fantasy. Like, don’t these ppl have kids, isn’t anyone ever in a bad mood, are they human?
    I think more ppl need to see the real D/s relationships, the good the bad and the ugly. Especially if someone is new coming into this and they are looking for answers. These are the kind of blogs ppl need to read. The real blogs, from the ones who are not afraid to tell how challenging but also how wonderful this type of relationship can be!!
    Kudos to you my friend!!
    I really hope you and The Bear can find some alone time to play. I hope you both can get the release that you desire. If we knew each other in RL, my King and I would take the kids for the night so you could “let your freak flag fly”, that is what we say when we need to have a no holds barred D/s session.
    Thinking of you!!

    Like

    1. Oh mrs. Gray you have no idea how much your comment means today! It has touched me on a variety of levels and for that I most sincerely thank you!

      I have debated what to do with this site on a variety of occasions because I know I can’t compete with the sexy, spanktacular and drama filed sites that are a plenty. I haven’t got the follows they do which is fine but I also don’t get too many comments which does leave me wondering if I’m talking to myself! *chuckle* There have been a handful of people speak up at just the right moment and it appears this time it is you, so thank you again!

      You are also a very sweet person to offer up talking the boys! I do wish it was that simple but I’m afraid there are other mental health issues at play that keep things complicated. I have an entirely different site dedicated to ‘the rest of it’! My youngest hasn’t left the house for more then a few minutes or with us since the end of May. He is 15 1/2, he has not attended school since end of spring. Might be TMI or maybe just a better view of real life, even D/s life!

      You are very much appreciated mrs. Gray! πŸ˜€ Hope your day is good!

      Like

      1. I would love to read your other site, if you do not mind.
        I feel the same way sometimes, I don’t have many follwers, and that is ok, cause the ones I do have, I love them.
        Sometimes even if no one reads it. It sure does just feel good to put it out there.
        I am right there with you, on the mental health issues…..we struggle with that too. We have a 14 year old son that is Autistic, that hold many challenges on its own.
        Feel good to know that I am not alone in any of this.
        This afternoon I am going to blog again about what happened here last night. *sigh* one day at a time right!! Hang in there sweetie!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. One day at a time indeed! And you are most certainly not alone, I will send you the link through your contact page if that’s okay? It should go to whatever email addy you used to set up this site. πŸ˜‰

        Like

  2. Well, I don’t know if I’m hurt, confused or both. I thought being me made me a superhero until I read where you say that we too are human.

    I can’t return my spandex superhero outfit as it was custom made and I doubt anyone wants to find Rope Man at their doorstep on Halloween. I reckon I could always wear it while zooming along on the mower, Girly-girl would like seeing the cape billow. Thoughts?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s true, human all the way Friend!

      On the plus side I look forward to watching you on that mower with the cape flapping in the wind! Now that will be a sight to see! *chuckle*

      Like

  3. Nijntje, I am newer to your blog, but I agree with Mrs. Gray above, I love seeing the reality of your relationship, and reality of making it work with kids and friends.
    I hope you can find some real play time soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, bluebird for both letting me know that this blog is worth reading and the hopes for play! *grin*

      Now do you happen to know how to appease the ‘play god’s’? Because apparently they are not currently on my side!! *chuckle*

      Like

  4. I told you that there had to be “real” people out there who understand that life happens and sometimes it needs to be dealt with first…sadly. I am so happy you got some validation for writing what is real. Too many people trying to escape life and not enough dealing with it. Great writing once again nijntje. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Sir! πŸ˜€ I know you enjoy/approve of my writing or you wouldn’t allow it but it is always nice to know you are valued and understood by others as well.

      Too many days/weeks of silence does leave me wondering but perhaps there is just nothing more that needs to be said? I’ll go with that! *giggle*

      Like

  5. Friend, I’m really sorry your life (like all of us) has gotten to be less than easy, sunshine-y, and fun. I understand completely, as my dear daughter (we only have one child) has never been easy and is just now on the brink of (hopefully) jumping off into adulthood and finding meaningful work and actually doing something with her life at age 20.

    I do encourage you and Mr. Bear to find the very best, kindest family counselor in your area. At first just you and he go! It is so worthwhile. Sir and I went for many many years and eventually daughter went and still does from time to time. She grew to know there’s no stigma about seeking help and that in fact counseling and even medication makes one a much stronger, more educated and healthy person. Many counselors offer phone or Skype sessions. Do not wait thinking things will eventually get better or “he will grow out of this phase.” Adolescence is such a psychologically precarious stage of life.

    Plus, this damages your entire family dynamic.I do so hope you are able to get some help and relief for all of you! I’m thinking of you, praying for you, and wish everyone in your family all the very best. And, that you find some alone time as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you angel, for your well thought out comment as usual. Your words and advice are very much on point and I hope any of those reading take it to heart!

      As I mentioned this is not the only site I write on, the other touches on all those topics and more. The youngest started showing signs when he was very young, one of the main reasons I stayed home almost 16 years ago now was the boys and their mental well being.

      The oldest started with major issues when he was into his teens and counselling as well as medication has helped us for about 2 years now.

      My life is sunshine-y and fun actually, most days … but it has never been easy. To me personally happiness is a choice, I have faught my dragons and won. I choose to be happy every day and treat each one as a gift.

      I hope we find some alone time too! That would be oh so nice …. *grin*

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m very very glad you are indeed a very strong lady and can deal. Many would just crumple and admit defeat. If you care to share it, I am most interested in your other site as well as the public one. Sending virtual hugs, as always!

        Liked by 1 person

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