Feeling a bit frisky lately, a bit rebellious and all female! A chance meeting this past weekend put it all into focus, I’m no longer trying to be submissive, I’m no longer trying or worrying about any of it!
I know the rules and rituals and symbols help many people and I think that’s great but I am no longer focusing on any of that, not that I was much before but I’m not even interested in looking any further. Confused?
The Bear and I went to a concert this past Saturday, it was a good time and nice to be out. We had the kids with us so no focus was put on kink or dynamic or fun new protocols. Nothing, we were simply out to have fun and be ourselves. Brilliant!
There I am, front and center getting a picture before the show. You can see how naturally shy and worried I am. *chuckle* I was out for a good time and to have fun just being me, there really was nothing more on my mind. It has been a long and tedious year and we were more than due for some enjoyment.
There was a very nice gentleman who sat beside me and we hit it off quite well. He was very pleasant and just as chatty as I so we spoke a lot!
Now here is the brilliant part, we talked about the show and we talked about life a bit and then the topic turned to talking about me. I wasn’t the one talking about me, he was. He was basically telling me what he thought I guess.
“Are you always this much … ? You are quite the firecracker!”
“You must be something else, I bet you’re a lot of work.”
“You’re not easily impressed are you, man you make them work for it!”
“Are you allowed to flirt like this? Doesn’t your boyfriend get upset? I don’t want to get punched in the face … ”
Now this kind of threw me for a moment, I wasn’t flirting I was just being myself. I like to talk and engage with people I choose to talk to. I tend to be very happy-go-lucky and I tend to be very animated in my conversations as well.
“Well, it’s my husband actually and no, I can speak to whomever I want. As long as you don’t touch you’re safe.” 😉
The conversation went back and forth like this off and on most of the night. We talked about the music, the group and every so often he would mention me again. He did eventually start talking to the Bear as well, it was just more difficult because he was sitting on the other side of me. Anyhow …
At one point he says to me out of the blue “You’re a lot of work, but I bet you’re worth it.”
“But you’re submissive, that’s nice ….. ”
I’m like … what?!?!? Did he just say what I think he just said? And then it hit me, I don’t need to read or find new ways of engaging the Bear in a ‘submissive’ way. All I need to do is be myself, because when it comes right down to it I already have all the answers, I just need to stop trying and just be me!
I had simply relaxed into being myself all day and evening and looking back now I can see how The Bear did more and more ‘dominant’ things, naturally. He wasn’t thinking either He was just reacting to me being me with Him, and it worked beautifully!
I don’t need to worry about how to act with Him, I need to STOP worrying and just be me!
So I’m putting ‘being His submissive’ out of my mind now and I’m simply going to be His girl, and I’m going to have fun using all of my feminine wiles doing it! *wink* Those are the moments He wants to claim me most anyway! *giggle*
Love You Always Bear! ❤