It’s common to see and hear the idea that a submissive is ‘not feeling it’ or that the warm fuzzy feeling you get is somehow eluding you right now. I don’t think that’s strange or even bad honestly. I don’t consider myself a ‘one trick pony’, and to think that I can only ever have one ‘feeling’ all the time in order to be happy is ludicrous to me.
I also happen to walk on the dominant side of the fence more often than not in my normal day, there are many things needing my strength and attention, many people relying on my leadership and even at times my ‘fight’. I pick up the reins at 6 am, think on my feet, encounter issues and adapt and over come.
I don’t cower to anyone, I don’t let my emotions run away from me and I don’t stop long enough to stress or worry when I am in the midst of it ….. I take on the responsibility, I do what needs to be done and I don’t expect anyone to do it for me, nor do I need them to.
And then in walks The Bear ……
So do you suppose I’m feeling ‘submissive’ at any time during my day? *chuckle* Not exactly.
There are many things that can be done in order to help me (my mind) switch gears. Some start with The Bear and some start with me but in either case they require my ‘want’ in order to work.
The truth is that no matter what is going on or how hard the Bear tries, if I am not offering submission I will not be feeling submissive. It’s not about His dominance, it’s about my offering. Makes sense, submission is inspired and given freely, it is not taken. This also means that the only one controlling the feeling and intensity is ultimately me.
All I know for sure is that when I offer and give myself to Him freely He takes what I give and makes it wonderful and fulfilling. When I sit back and wait for Him to ‘make’ me feel submissive, it doesn’t work. The Bear has no want to take something that is not freely given anyway and neither should He.
Not feeling submissive? Look in the mirror ….
** The Bear is very good about fulfilling my needs and taking care – this post does not however assume that all dominants are doing their duty – some are simply abusing their position, to those of you, I say ‘walk or even run’ …. **