It just occurred to me that something I said might not have been understood as it was meant by the majority of the readership. (Me speaking in tongues?? lol no way!)
A couple posts ago I said that I told the Bear I was done with the D/s, for us that is strictly sex and kink based actions and responsibilities. Things like you read about in the erotic sites. Kneeling, spanking maintenance, kinky tasks assigned to keep the ‘submissive charge’ AKA sex appeal. These are the things that are new(ish) to us, these are the things that we are trying to find time and space for. These are the things I consider our D/s journey.
We’ve been acting on the kink and symbolic part of our relationship for bout 5 years now BUT since the beginning The Bear has taken care of me and all my other needs. Those are not what I consider new and sometimes difficult to fit into life.
Things were never contracted out but proper behaviour and manners have always been part of our relationship. A calm, safe and responsible husband that grounds me and keeps me from harm has always been part of our relationship. I have always turned to Him and only Him when the weight of the world gets too heavy and He has never let me down. In turn I have always let Him have final say in any and all decisions. He has no interest in micromanaging me but if it’s important to Him it’s followed by me, simple as that.
‘Done with the D/s’ to me is only kink and sex based orders and responsibilities not the position in our marriage or care given from that position.
No, this is not what others might view as D/s and no this isn’t all that D/s or M/s is all about. This is just our journey and this is where the labels and titles came into play for us. These are the things that sometimes get difficult because life tends to rob you of time and energy now and again.
I’d hate to admit it but let’s be honest, at some point the kink and sexy escapades will become a thing of the past, if we live long enough and I hope we do. I will miss it certainly but our connection is so much more and so much deeper than anything we have added in ‘D/s’.
We were ‘we’ long before the label of D/s, to me it labels the kink and sexy orders of our travels, that’s it. No it’s not what it means to you, but this is my story, not yours.
So when I told Him I was done, I meant I was done waiting for kinky orders …. He will always be my leader, protector and care giver, that part will never change.
It might still be clear as mud, but at least I tried.