Oh boy, where to start! Just the idea of writing this makes my head ache but truth is I have seen in my travels some who have tried to deal with this thought and for some reason or other disappeared. It’s a thought that did throw me for a loop. for a minute anyway before I got a grip and moved on. The people I was talking to at the time didn’t help, they also were the reason for the manners post …. if that gives you any idea of where I was. Anyway …!
Everyone says your dynamic should be your own, unique and special and such, but the second you vary from their definition they try to pull you in a direction that you don’t want or are not comfortable with, your head aches (told yah!) and you are lost and feel like running!
I’ll tell you now, this is not meant to be offensive to any of you, it is not meant as a judgement on titles, labels or dynamics but it is however a different take ….. I am not intolerant of anyone’s kink, that is not what I’m about here and if that’s all you get out of this post, well than you have totally missed the mark! So be it.
So on with it than, some time ago, well a long time ago actually when I finally found the man I wanted to marry there was this ‘thing’ that I started to feel first. It was the thing that told me I wanted Him as a partner and that no other would do. I didn’t have a name for it, really didn’t matter. My shunning of labels and need to be myself is not new to D/s, it’s just a me thing. Probably best I didn’t know anything about these labels and dynamics actually because if I did it would have totally wigged me out! I know me back then, I would have run and hid so deep I’m not even sure that the Bear would be able to find me, not back then. I’m sure you are all very confused by now, it’s about to get more so ….
I am not ‘little’ but I am most certainly His ‘little girl’! I do not call Him daddy, the idea to me is repulsive, again this is not about you, it’s about my own experience growing up. The word daddy doesn’t give me a warm soft feeling, it makes me put on my warrior armor and prepare for battle.
I don’t use the term ‘daddy’ but I have my Bear. My Bear is when I’m feeling small and playful and/or in need of a rest from the harshness and responsibility of the world. My Bear is when I need a bit more softness and a place to cuddle into and rest. Bear takes care of the little girl, ugh see ‘girl’! ;P He regularly calls me little girl or little one or bunny, I don’t mind I actually quite like it, it’s how we made it work for us.
The main difference I suppose is that I got that feeling from Him before we even married, that was the one that was beginning to hide away when things were not balanced here in the house 5 years or so ago, before we started doing this ‘thing’.
We have a picture that is Sir’s most favourite of all time, once we started this ‘thing’ He realized why it has always been His favourite. It was at the pre wedding party a few weeks before we married, my head is on His chest and I guess I look very peaceful and comfortable to Him even with all the people and commotion about. And of course my side was as ‘lovely’ as always at the time ….
He sees now what He didn’t have a name for then, He sees His little girl leaning into Him for comfort and support, hiding away from all the rest. He still looks at it now and then and tells me ‘it was always there wasn’t it’? Yup! That’s why I married the Bear …
So yes I get it, the Bear takes care of me in a way no one else ever has, I don’t care for diapers or baby talk or binkies! I do like stuffed animals though and He will get them for me from time to time to see my smile but I don’t sit and play with them. I’m not childish or bratty but I do get very goofy and playful especially when things are balanced as they have been as of late, even with all the outside noise of life.
It’s not about an ‘age’ it’s about a level of comfort.
No matter where or what, if the Bear sees the little girl in need everything gets dropped and she gets cared for first – rules, rituals and what have you can wait, she is more important.
He doesn’t like Master so I will refer to Him as your ‘Evilness’ when that’s what I need and He calls me “****” (I’ll let you figure that out yourself), most often I call Him Sir and He says nijntje, but as of late it’s been bunny or little girl and the Bear … simple but effective way to let each other know what we need at any moment. For us it works. 😀
Makes sense though if you think on it … Big Bear and little bunny ….
Mine was squashed so badly as a child that I tried to literally cut it out for most of my teens, I didn’t just go to adult armor I went full on warrior, but in the end the ideals are the same.
I don’t call Him daddy, I can’t, it doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t suit …. the label says I need an ‘age’ to identify with, I don’t. I’m a grown woman looking for a few minutes of rest from someone who is able and willing to protect and nurture this inner self that really has never been cared for before.
No I am not a ‘little’ but I am most certainly His little girl. He is not my daddy, my brain can’t deal with that, but He is my Bear! Sometimes the polar and sometimes the teddy! 😉 always my Bear!