I don’t think it’s any secret that in this relationship as in any other, one side feeds the other. Sometimes the energy comes from the Dominant side, sometimes the submissive side. I don’t believe anyone can be all one thing all the time, humans are not ‘linear’. I also don’t believe that being submissive means you just sit back and wait for the Dominant to always be the one fueling and initiating everything that is ‘dynamic’ related. I’ve written about Self Advocating and about Being Honest and I don’t believe any of that has to do with ‘topping’ so I won’t allow myself to use that as an excuse to forgo my responsibility in the life we have chosen.
All that being said, fanning and fueling the dominant and submissive fires has become more difficult around here than ever it was before. Many of the things I used to do on a regular basis, because we enjoyed them firstly and because they were great physical reminders, have been cut way back! This isn’t because I don’t want to or because they are physically too difficult, it’s because of a change in energy in the house, with the kids.
Although the kids are and always have been home bodies and many of these things I speak of were done even when they were here anyway, the change of energy has made it so I think some of these things have now become triggers of sorts for one of my boys. I’m not going into detail here about that but sufficed to say that my wearing of a bit more obvious collar during the evenings and weekends, sitting at His feet, or just generally playing around with a handful of *smacks* for good measure which we used to indulge in from time to time, has been seriously cut back or simply off the table when the boys are up or within ear shot.
The deep exhale and calm that used to be so easy to get has now become a very hard thing to manage at the end of a long day. Why do these physical things work so well for me/us? I don’t know, but they do and the only way to get them now without being on edge that I might have to run and hide, or jump up at the slightest noise is to be hidden away in our bedroom.
That wouldn’t leave much family time, and with two teenagers managing life the last thing we want to do is be unavailable for them. Yes my relationship with my husband is important but it’s not more important than my kids well-being, and it is a serious enough issue that we’re not willing to chance things. We made a commitment as parents too, that doesn’t go away because we decided to play kinky.
So guess what we’re doing now? Yup, more thinking, more talking, more trying to come up with a new list of ‘submissive’ triggers for me that are very quick, very discreet and can keep things going. A new list of things I can do to keep His Dominance on the top of His mind too that others might not notice but He can see and focus on. Nothing is going on hold, we just need to get even more imaginative! 😉 nijntje is going into stealthy ninja mode ….. *giggle*
I think this is just more fun to be had, I suppose I could mope and complain …. but why? Just a bit more talking and a bit more imagination is all it takes. 😉
I’m ready Sir!! 😉 *giggle* Do you think you can catch me again?!?!? And do that thing we talked about …… ?!?!? *giggle*
Love You Always My Wonderful Sir ❤