A bunch of jumbled thoughts and not much time or ambition to write on here now a days. Not sure what this post is or how it will come out but like I said, just a bunch of jumble!

Sir and I haven’t really the time to play and prep for more serious and intense play, we haven’t had for quite some time! Too long really. There are short sessions and some spanking but being pushed into subspace and maintaining it for any real length of time has been just a distant memory.

I don’t know about you all but the more often I can do it the more quickly I can fall back into it. The longer in between of course the more build up and prep I need to get into the proper mindset. Basically when I am operating on the submissive side of the road I can *fall* into subspace very quickly, the mind is a very powerful thing and I have been trained 😉 to respond on cue.

When I am operating on the dominant side of the road however I require a lot more *push* before I hit any sort of threshold, play wise. Think the 18 gears of a semi truck ….

Lately real life has had me in dominant mode without stop for some time, my mind and body are linked of course and so the shifting of gears is definitely what I need first (I’m just referring to impact play here but it does relate to all aspects really), this means longer and more intense play to break through the every day and into the calm of subspace. When you always have a house full or an issue to deal with the odds are against you!

Anyway, we finally got a short time to play this weekend and I finally did get some respite but in order to get there the play was a bit more hurried and as a result I am left with many dark marks that I don’t normally sport. Although I like it intense we have found that between the skin care routine I have and a few other tricks to add intensity of feeling without force and a proper warm up!!! very important – I can normally play very intensely for hours and really have very few if any lasting marks! Once the redness and puffiness goes down the marks tend to be practically non-existent or fade very quickly.

Although hurrying through gave me the mental break I wanted it left too much damage behind and now the Bear will not take the chance of doing any real damage ….. so the normal ‘5 minutes’ have been put on hold! UGH!

On the bright side, even though I have been crazy busy and not feeling well (caught a bug) the Bear hasn’t eased up at all on expectations, as a matter of fact He changed some to suit the new schedule and added some to boot! 😀 Yesterday especially I kind of tested Him to see if He would let it slide because I really had NO ENERGY left at the end of the day, and really my mind wasn’t focused. He had none of that, He held fast and followed through. You’d think that might just add to my stress and make things worse but it didn’t.

Even though the fun play and spankings might not be on the agenda holding fast to the ‘rules’ helps to put my mind back where I like it. Adding to an already hectic schedule didn’t stress me, it calms me and the few new toys and subsequent submissive triggers He learned are certainly playing on my mind and I’m forever connected wondering if and when He’ll use them! *chuckle*

Now to go mind these marks and see if they are ‘passable’ yet!! 😛

Happy Hump Day!

Hope my next play date is a bit closer than the last!

Love You Always Bear! ❤

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