Friends, colleagues, family members …. I personally have never really understood the big deal behind it but I guess it’s once again all in your perspective.
Why should I have to be fearful or concerned that someone might find out I have a great deal of respect for the man I married? I can tell you now that anyone who knows me knows I respect my husband, value His presence in this marriage and always have. I have never hidden the fact that I would check with Him first on anything, long before D/s or kink was ever-present in our relationship.
Why do you need a dynamic, or title to know that you should value each other and look to each other for help and guidance, that you should treat each other with respect and that what one says and thinks should be taken seriously by the other? Why is this such a big deal exactly? Seems to me the ones not using these ideals in their relationships should be the ones worried about being found out.
Yes I am well aware of and grew up with what ‘society values’ but I also have a brain of my own. Grab a history book, society has had plenty of misplaced values.
I don’t talk about or promote kinky sex, but I never did it with vanilla sex either! I’ve never been one to share my ‘dirty laundry’ – personal issues are just that, personal. You talk about them and figure them out with the person that’s involved, you don’t spread gossip about them or behind their back but yet haven’t the balls to clear it up face to face. Husbands and wives included ….
It really kills me that so many people had to find some dynamic to figure out how to be a positive, kind and respectful human being. As to kink and spankings, keep them to yourself. If someone wants to know they will ask you, if they don’t then respect them enough not to force feed it to them. I have no interest in what my friends do behind closed doors, it doesn’t make me intolerant of their kink or lack there of, it makes me respect their privacy and value mine.
I can state and show that I respect my husband’s wishes and follow His lead without going into kinky or sexual details and if someone doesn’t respect that then they don’t deserve mine ….
Trying to force my kink on them however is unnecessary and from my part – rude.
I call my husband Mr. ____ when we are out with others and I have even said Sir from time to time, that is simply a sign of respect after all but referring to Him as Daddy or Master in these parts would be awkward and basically forcing my kink, so I don’t.
I wear my cuffs but they are discreet and I don’t let parts of myself or my kink be put on display, I am a lady first and foremost. If you choose a different way of being so be it but don’t be surprised if others look or even stare!
When my hair is green or purple I don’t get off put because others look and talk. I’m doing and showing something that is very obviously different then than rest, to be upset because they were confused or stunned would be ridiculous of me, and yes some will simply disapprove, so be it.
I have received many comments on many occasions both before and after we started D/s in regards to my relationship with my husband, how lucky we are, how well we relate to each other and many want to know how we do it. I have always spoken of respect and honesty and trust and communication, I have often talked about manners and good listening skills and not interrupting or thinking I always know best …. I have always made it clear that I count on Him and that He has given me the strength and courage to move forward when everyone else in my life had let me down.
He always drives me to where I need to be and either accompanies me or picks me up after, He has always carried the bags and opened the doors, He has always paid the bill and held my hand. People are in awe, people want what we have, people know it’s different and people know it’s awesome and never have I had to say it’s D/s, or spankings or I’m submissive ….
People are not off put by a happy healthy relationship – people are off put when you try to stuff your labels and kink in their face.
There is a reason why we call it your ‘private life’ after all, although I’m not entirely sure that exists for many any more.
Sorry if you are offended but this is my opinion ….