I think consistency is an issue for a lot of people, especially those who are married and have been in it for some time!
I personally find that the faster I come clean with my needs and feelings of let down the quicker the balance is restored. Hinting, stewing and sulking are vanilla ideals to me, straight forward and honest, yet mindful communication seems to work here.
One side feeds the other, sometimes it’s the submissive side bringing the energy to the table in order to keep things going. I think that is just a fact of life, no one can be all anything all the time.
I did sometimes feel like I was putting in more effort than my husband but that was normally when I was quiet about my needs and feelings not when I am honest and speak up. I’ve also found the ‘posturing’ and showing active submission in varies ways will stoke his Dominant fire ….
That is what I’m asking from Him after all isn’t it? His active Domination stokes my submissive fire ….. why would His need be any different?