I’ve been thinking about what makes you a leader/dominant and what is just fluff to be used when appropriate or wanted and to be discarded when life so dictates if necessary.
If you have read my blog for any amount of time you already know that I don’t think the focus and reality of this relationship is protocol or rules or contracts. They are a good start in most cases and can certainly add fun and excitement but they don’t make the relationship, at least I don’t think they should if you are looking for a long-term commitment to more than just play.
Life happens, accidents happen and people change and grow. If you are together often enough and long enough you will see many changes come and go, is it really likely that everything about your relationship will stay exactly the same? Is it realistic to assume that the ritual that makes you so excited right now will still be giving you butterflies after 20 years? Maybe it’s because I have more dominant tendencies than submissive ones that makes me see these things …. who knows.
The nuts and bolts about my relationship and why Sir is the dominant and I’m the submissive is the ultimate responsibility for the family/home at the end of the day. Regardless of how much I take on, on any given day and how busy things are all around us, regardless of rules and protocols written up nicely and regardless of spankings (which seems to be more of a kink and a release for most and not so much a punishment that is dreaded as it should be when put under the ‘punishment’ umbrella).
The fact is that no matter the level of kink or no kink when something happens that needs to be dealt with the last stop is and always will be with Sir. If it’s something that doesn’t need to make it that far to be handled then it doesn’t need to bother Him, BUT NEVER do I feel that I can’t come to and depend on Him. No matter how busy or how hectic things get in life the buck stops with Him. I can depend on it, and that’s why He’s my dominant and why no one else will do.
Kneeling is a great way for me to relax and feel I’m His and feel sexy, strutting around naked in only my cuffs and collar when home would be awesome (but would get me arrested at the moment), and let’s be honest being tied up and put on display for His pleasure is not humiliation or punishment, it’s a turn on! It makes us all feel wanted and sexy as h3ll, even if you are slightly uncomfortable, it is what it is ….
All of those things are fun and exciting but they are all just play. If your D/s (or whatever) starts to fall apart when you can’t do those things because time and family has made micro managed movements and spankings a distant memory than where does that leave you?
I for one want more, maybe I’m greedy but rules and protocols and spankings are just not enough. I want a relationship and connection that out lives all of that. I want to know that He has me regardless of titles and show, I want to know that I am truly His to watch over and care for …. no matter what!
Always invested, always connected, always His …… even when times are tough.
We were kinky at the start of our relationship, we were kinky in the middle and now 20 years later we are kinky again! The only time we ever struggled was when I wasn’t 100% certain that I could count on Him, no matter what that might look like at the time. Actively listening to each other and always putting His needs first (and He mine) combined with an open heart, trust and honesty.
Sir is my dominant because He is the only one I’ve ever been able to count on, 100% no matter what. Life taught me from a young age not to trust or count on anyone but myself, He was and is the only one to break through that wall.
I don’t know what you call it and frankly I really don’t care, all I know is that at the end of it all when I’m dealing with the acrobatics of life HE is my safety net!
It might not look like your average Dom/sub picture but there is still One ultimately responsible. Happy Friday!
Love You Always Sir! ❤