But the warrior was in full force! It causes an interesting dichotomy to be certain …
I am focused and although I’m generally ‘happy go lucky’ in demeanor I am very intense. Switching gears is something I can do instantly but only physically, like kneeling, because it is agreed upon. When it comes to emotionally, well I believe that is always want, mind over matter if you will, most of our feelings don’t make sense in a real sense but they are valid because we will them. But when it comes to mentally, I need a moment …. I can still do it very quickly but a few minutes to get into the right head space certainly makes things run much more smoothly!
There have been things going on in life that cause me to rely on my warrior spirit and strength to see through, and I’m okay with that, I enjoy that, it really is not an issue but …. that type of mind space requires a few minutes to be shifted out of.
Sir decided last evening to indulge/surprise/take care of me with some ritualistic forms of submission. When things are quiet and we can fit these things in more often I can easily transition my mind from one head space to the other in an instant but lately however life has not afforded that luxury and rituals are few and far between when done by surprise! We still have our daily rituals but nothing has been thrown in on the fly in a long while, at least not without some communication before hand to allow me the few minutes to shift gears, …. but not last night.
As much as I appreciate the effort and recognize the intent the shift from ‘on’ to rest and relax was simply not made. I went through with what He asked because that is the way of things but I can’t say I was happy or excited about it as usual, I was annoyed to be frank. I had already planned ahead and was focused on ‘my’ tasks at hand and the surprise was more of a shocking bucket of cold water than a calming experience as it was intended.
I quickly started to refocus my attention and rationalized what His intent was and what He was doing it for but it only sent me to this train of thought where I concluded what was happening, why I should be appreciative and what we need to discuss once I was let free of my position. Because I didn’t get even the smallest ‘heads up’ to allow me to switch gears it actually caused my brain to move faster in planning and prepping not slow down as intended.
Communication – always key!
I can switch quickly Sir and I certainly don’t mean you should be telling me all your secrets and reasons but a quick, ‘I’m going to take care of what’s mine after the shower’ would have been enough to let me start changing gears and I would have actually relaxed into it instead of the opposite.
I still take a dominant role in all things in life except for with Sir, I require a few minutes to shift out of that head space when things are in high gear as they have been. Life currently requires me to make decisions and time to wait on His call is not always available, and I’m okay with that. We have found ways to still keep Him informed and if for some reason He wants to change it than we deal with that too although it is not usually the case. But I still have no ‘switch’ …… I need a moment.
So we talked afterwards, figured out what I needed for a better result and the rest of the evening was, hummm, much better! 😉
Love You Always Sir ❤