Not sure exactly what this post is going to be today, a bit of rambling I think. I guess we’ll see where I end up Sir!! ❤
I’ve always been the primary care giver for the kids, they are 17 and 15 (next week) and I’ve been home now for 15-ish years. I work from home, it was a decision we made when the kids came around and for a variety of reasons but mostly because of them.
Originally the idea was that I would work from home until they were both in school and then likely get back to working outside the home. After it was made clear that they still needed the added support of me being home we thought maybe once they were old enough to be home alone for an hour or two would be a good time for me to return to work, …. and then perhaps when they were both in high school … etc.
Well they are both in high school and things have been great at times and rocky at times, many issues have been dealt with, many things I never would have thought of in the beginning, things you never think will happen to you!
In the early years I made all the decisions when it came to the kids, it made sense since I was the one here, I saw them most and I knew more in this regard so why wouldn’t I, right? Well eventually it got to be a lot for one person to shoulder on their own, like I said many things happened and many things needed to be handled.
This was probably around the same time that it felt like Sir was checking out and I was basically a single parent, I have never told Him that but that is what I felt at the time. I went as far as to make lists in my head, what bills we had, could I afford the house and things on my income alone, would it be worth it or should I consider moving etc. etc. I’m a planner, I plan for the worst and hope for the best ….
Somewhere in here my sex drive went into high gear, this BDSM D/s M/s idea become known to us and we started playing around …. I found this site that gave all sorts of information but none of it was sexual! It wasn’t at all what I went looking for I admit but it painted a completely different picture of what this thing could be …. so I showed it to Sir. It was a lot to fathom all at once to be sure, it was deep, it was complicated and it wasn’t all about kneeling or collars or BS! It wasn’t one being more than the other, it was both working for each other ….
It was written by a dominant and He made it clear that to be a good DOM your main concern and priority is your submissive and that you might have all the power but it was to be used for the benefit of the submissive first and foremost. Only once those needs had been met were you to then take what you needed and wanted from the submissive and they would be more than happy to hand it over freely and eagerly!
It gave Sir the information He needed to give Himself permission to take this on. The difference between dominant and domineering was made clear and I think He really liked the idea that He does this primarily to take care of me!
We needed to work out what that looks like exactly in our case because no one knows your life better than yourself but it gave us one heck of a head start over all the other stuff I found out there! People preaching all sorts of things and others following blindly and in some cases becoming even more miserable than before they started!
We didn’t want anything scripted, we didn’t want anything that felt fake. All those rituals give you a high for a while but they will lose their charm eventually, become old hat and then you’re left chasing a feeling and can’t figure out why you can’t seem to find it. We wanted real ….
So the other week when I was at home dealing with one of the boys I got a message back from Sir telling me exactly what He felt we needed to do about it …. point-blank, spelled out and specific. I got butterflies in my tummy and a warm feeling all over …. I was His and He was in control, together and on the same page!
No plugs, no clamps, no rituals of kneeling or spankings ….. just my Man letting me know I’m not alone, He’s here and He will take care of me and us …. the weight is not just on my shoulders any more.
Some where in ‘vanilla land’ He got the idea He couldn’t do that, somewhere in ‘vanilla land’ I got the idea I couldn’t ask for help, or He should somehow read my mind if He really did care. Yeah, it’s not like that ….
The fact is that if there is something I’m not getting its simply because I’m not telling, it’s not topping it’s realistic. For all of His great qualities the one thing my Sir is not is a mind reader …..
The real difference between us and vanilla? Open, honest communication and attentive listening! On *both* sides.
Can’t wait till you’re home Sir ❤