(Re-blog) Stumbled upon this – interesting …. and so simple!

What I see in the majority of unhappy marriages are two people who feel unsatisfied. Usually the problem is a simple one. The husband lacks respect. The woman lacks love. The husband feels oppressed by his wife. She nags and treats him like a child. She critiques how he spends his money, who he talks […]

via To the Struggling Relationship “The 5 Things” — ladylovelysite

Do you have 5? Have you found they changed significantly over time? Are you just thinking you might come up with 5 and give this a try?

My D/s at its best

I’ve been having a rough time lately, allergies and colds and rainy weather has got me worn out physically. Other things in life have been wearing on my mental ‘happy go lucky’ lately too so last night after work I really had nothing left!

Dinner was in the oven and ready, the boys had already eaten and were not ready for more food and I could barely get myself up off the couch. I had no appetite anyway, that tends to happen when I have a cold.

Sir got dinner out of the oven and made himself up a plate, got the TV tray of sorts out and made himself comfortable with His dinner on the couch. I crawled up beside Him and put my head on His lap while He ate.

He got dinner and I got rest, afterwards He stroked my hair for a while and I got caught up on some rest I didn’t manage to get the night before. Eventually I got my second wind and we got in the shower, together as usual.

I asked Him what We/I needed to get done this evening, we are hosting Easter and I know there is a ton of work to be done. He said tonight the bunny needs rest! So we curled up on the couch again, me laying in His arms and we watched a TV show. Eventually it was time for bed and I finally got a decent night’s sleep.

Before D/s I would have kept going, I wouldn’t have allowed myself time to stop and I certainly wouldn’t have let Him see my *weakness*. Now I listen to what He says, if He says things can wait then they wait. If He wants to take care of me then I’ll let Him, and I’ll enjoy laying against Him and feeling cared for.

See, it’s just life ……

Love You Always My Wonderful ❤

 

Wascally Wabbit!

The further I get into this the more I am certain, I don’t have a ‘lifestyle’ and I don’t want one – I have a life.

I came into this looking for a way to show my husband that I value His opinion, respect His wishes and need His strength.

I am very good at being everything, for myself and by myself …. I intimidate anyone and everyone who knows me (as a force to be dealt with) and I have absolutely no time for anyone trying to tell me *what is what* who is not strong in their leadership and/or character.

I am not fake and I simply can’t pretend anything ….. I think fast and I always land on my feet. It didn’t leave much space for Him to think I *needed* anything ……

Some of the rituals or protocols spoken of lend themselves nicely as reminders to both of us that we are in this together and that I do need Him in my life and in this ‘position’. Some of them are simply calming and others are just for fun – but they could all go away and nothing between us would change, not any more!

Our connection is more in our minds than in kneeling or anything else. If things could no longer be done for whatever the reason I would hate to think that the relationship was conditional upon protocols and would therefore dissolve.

Sir has grown into quite the sadist, I don’t imagine cutting that out of our relationship would be as fulfilling as it is now, but every year I find out something new that makes play more ‘interesting’ ….. If at some point I get to where I just simply can no longer play does He then up and leave because my part of the masochist can no longer be filled? Perhaps that gives Him the right to go look outside the marriage then? Yeah, …. NO!

As I have mentioned before my marriage contract comes first. Life comes first …..

Our love is not conditional, it needs to be cared for and nurtured and fed else it might be lost but it is not conditional upon a power exchange contract that might work for now but might need to be reassessed in the future.

I thought it was supposed to be a ‘dynamic’ …… ?!?!

  • adjective (of a process or system) characterized by constant change, activity, or progress.
  • noun: a force that stimulates change or progress within a system or process.

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Love You Always Sir ❤

Full Circle

I’ve heard before that you can’t move forward if you are busy looking back and for the most part I suppose that is true! You need to face the direction you want to travel or you will crash, you will not be in control of where you are going and obviously it will not end well!

But there are those times that it is important to look to the past to see what else you can learn … and sometimes it’s simply enlightening and fun!

I don’t have many friends, generally speaking I don’t care for people, sounds terrible doesn’t it?

This would likely come as a shock to anyone who ‘knows’ me, I’m viewed as very much a people person! The truth is that I am very good at being with people, I read them well generally and know exactly what they need and what they want, normally long before they do. I’m always in a good mood, always a smile on my face and rarely run into any sort of issues when it comes to talking to and dealing with people. The funny thing is that if given a choice, I would prefer to be by myself.

After work hours I very rarely see or talk to anyone, besides Sir and the boys. I don’t need plans to have a good time, I don’t need to hang out with the girls and I don’t feel I’m missing anything if I’m not out on the town! I like being home, with my dogs and my books. I like having my music and my trees ….. I’m very happy just hanging out with me! 😀 It recharges the ‘batteries’ before going back to people in the morning …..

I have had a couple of friends over the years, funny enough they are almost always men. They are not showy men, not the type that need to be the center of attention, most times they don’t want attention at all. Not the type to talk for the sake of talking, not the type with ‘something to prove’ but you wouldn’t want to be in their way and you certainly don’t want to get on their ‘bad side’. I’ve just come to realize that when it comes to friends I have a ‘type’! LOL A grizzly, scruffy type!

Many moons ago when I was finally coming into my own, I had been away from things that had brought me down just long enough to have my head back on straight(ish), and I was making my own way in this world is when I met the first of such friends. He was definitely the grizzly type! He scared the cr@p out of everyone, not many people chanced talking to him and they certainly didn’t poke the Bear! LOL Well, anyone but me anyway …..

We had similar skeletons to deal with I think and even though Sir and I had just started dating I really did need someone to understand the things I had still to work through and talk about. Some things you just don’t know unless you know if that makes any sense and Sir and I have two VERY different histories and life experiences.

Anyhow, I think he was really the first person I was comfortable talking to and knowing that he understood what I was trying to say, no pretense, no BS just comfort and understanding. Back then I started calling him bear, everyone assumed it was for grizzly but to me it was Teddy! I was comfortable being myself with no fear or worry for the first time in my life, really truly just me!

Thanks to that Grizzly, Sir got to know the real me, the one that was open and ready to move forward. He still had to be the one to earn it, don’t get me wrong. I very literally had guys left and right trying for a date and hoping for a relationship. I have always had very high expectations even back then, I have never been one to settle and I certainly could never be with someone I did not respect. We just came from different walks of life and I’m not certain if I would have been open to any of it without first being open to myself and allowing myself to let someone else in.

Anyway, to get to the point of this thought …. shortly after getting into this power exchange and getting back to myself I instinctively started calling Sir – Bear! Especially when I am happy and playful and just plain comfortable I call Him Bear!

I had completely forgotten about the first ‘bear’ until someone made me remember that I tend to gravitate towards these ‘characters’ in my life. It also made me realize that the reason I call Sir ‘Bear’ is because I am completely comfortable, confident and happy being 100% His!

This trip back was fun and enlightening I think! The grizzly and I never had a romantic relationship of any sort, it wasn’t anything like that …… it is more a word that makes me feel complete, and even though we are so different my Sir is also my Bear! Enlightening …..

Love You Always Sir Bear! ❤

There was nothing else to be done, … ! ;)

It’s Saturday night, late evening and time to be to bed!

You wait in your place, ready and attentive, listening for the steps at the door. Eventually you feel the rush of air as the door opens to allow Him access to the room in which you wait, another breeze sweeps over your skin as the door closes behind Him, and then it starts ……. oh the feel, oh the anticipation, the need growing and growing within you!

You must’n move or break position, not until you are acknowledged and released. You stay the course but the need grows, over whelming almost. Finally He sits behind you, rubs your shoulders, rubs your back, the heat and feel of His fingers are magical, but still the need grows! He leans in and is talking now, this is the indication that the mood is more relaxed, you can adjust and you can squirm but the position will still be held. You now have some ‘wiggle’ room, and still the need grows …. !

What do you do???? He is so close ….. practically on your shoulder. Oh you just can’t wait another second!

You rub your nose in His scruff of course!! This itchy nose is enough to drive anyone bonkers!!! 😛 There is no rule about wiggling your bunny nose about …. ! hehehe

LOL Happy Monday!

Love You Always Sir! ❤