Full Circle

I’ve heard before that you can’t move forward if you are busy looking back and for the most part I suppose that is true! You need to face the direction you want to travel or you will crash, you will not be in control of where you are going and obviously it will not end well!

But there are those times that it is important to look to the past to see what else you can learn … and sometimes it’s simply enlightening and fun!

I don’t have many friends, generally speaking I don’t care for people, sounds terrible doesn’t it?

This would likely come as a shock to anyone who ‘knows’ me, I’m viewed as very much a people person! The truth is that I am very good at being with people, I read them well generally and know exactly what they need and what they want, normally long before they do. I’m always in a good mood, always a smile on my face and rarely run into any sort of issues when it comes to talking to and dealing with people. The funny thing is that if given a choice, I would prefer to be by myself.

After work hours I very rarely see or talk to anyone, besides Sir and the boys. I don’t need plans to have a good time, I don’t need to hang out with the girls and I don’t feel I’m missing anything if I’m not out on the town! I like being home, with my dogs and my books. I like having my music and my trees ….. I’m very happy just hanging out with me! 😀 It recharges the ‘batteries’ before going back to people in the morning …..

I have had a couple of friends over the years, funny enough they are almost always men. They are not showy men, not the type that need to be the center of attention, most times they don’t want attention at all. Not the type to talk for the sake of talking, not the type with ‘something to prove’ but you wouldn’t want to be in their way and you certainly don’t want to get on their ‘bad side’. I’ve just come to realize that when it comes to friends I have a ‘type’! LOL A grizzly, scruffy type!

Many moons ago when I was finally coming into my own, I had been away from things that had brought me down just long enough to have my head back on straight(ish), and I was making my own way in this world is when I met the first of such friends. He was definitely the grizzly type! He scared the cr@p out of everyone, not many people chanced talking to him and they certainly didn’t poke the Bear! LOL Well, anyone but me anyway …..

We had similar skeletons to deal with I think and even though Sir and I had just started dating I really did need someone to understand the things I had still to work through and talk about. Some things you just don’t know unless you know if that makes any sense and Sir and I have two VERY different histories and life experiences.

Anyhow, I think he was really the first person I was comfortable talking to and knowing that he understood what I was trying to say, no pretense, no BS just comfort and understanding. Back then I started calling him bear, everyone assumed it was for grizzly but to me it was Teddy! I was comfortable being myself with no fear or worry for the first time in my life, really truly just me!

Thanks to that Grizzly, Sir got to know the real me, the one that was open and ready to move forward. He still had to be the one to earn it, don’t get me wrong. I very literally had guys left and right trying for a date and hoping for a relationship. I have always had very high expectations even back then, I have never been one to settle and I certainly could never be with someone I did not respect. We just came from different walks of life and I’m not certain if I would have been open to any of it without first being open to myself and allowing myself to let someone else in.

Anyway, to get to the point of this thought …. shortly after getting into this power exchange and getting back to myself I instinctively started calling Sir – Bear! Especially when I am happy and playful and just plain comfortable I call Him Bear!

I had completely forgotten about the first ‘bear’ until someone made me remember that I tend to gravitate towards these ‘characters’ in my life. It also made me realize that the reason I call Sir ‘Bear’ is because I am completely comfortable, confident and happy being 100% His!

This trip back was fun and enlightening I think! The grizzly and I never had a romantic relationship of any sort, it wasn’t anything like that …… it is more a word that makes me feel complete, and even though we are so different my Sir is also my Bear! Enlightening …..

Love You Always Sir Bear! ❤

4 thoughts on “Full Circle

  1. Really interesting. Kit isn’t a people person either, but got really good at reading other people. Kit gets enough human interactions at work, prefers to be alone with Master and the dogs over the weekends as well =).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There is nothing wrong with being with people or being a people person if that suits you, but once you are happy and comfortable in your own skin I think it becomes less necessary for some of us.

      I think that is okay too! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s kinda like, you have to interact w/ people sometimes, but then can’t wait to be back alone. Which is interesting, because I’ve spent my entire adult life in sales/retail/service. Gotta have a paycheck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is very much like that!
      My old boss (before I started working for myself some 15 years ago) used to say I gave everyone a ‘warm fuzzy feeling’ (mind out of the gutter now! lol) which was very funny to me because ‘I’ had no feeling in it at all really …. they also used to say I could sell an ice cube to an Eskimo (which is terribly derogatorily but I think gets the point across) !
      I ‘can’ be with people, but I don’t need to be which again is funny because I am soooo good at it! LOL
      I’m guessing you know what I mean …
      Thanks for the comment! 😀 It’s nice to know you are not totally nutz!! lol

      Liked by 1 person

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