Sensible Sunday Thoughts

Life is short, play a little ….

I haven’t been making my rounds to sites that have many issues and problems to work through because honestly my life (apart from my marriage and D/s) has enough stress that I don’t need to put myself in those situations when there is nothing I can do about it anyway. In short, I read inspirational and happy stories ….

I do remember however seeing dynamics where the fun was basically pushed aside because they were trying too hard to stick to roles, rules and ‘places’ ….

Having this dynamic in your life should add to your fun and happiness not take away from it. So I say don’t take yourself or your partner too seriously – leave room for fun and flirting and play. Life really is too short to work and worry all the time.

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Happy Sunday All!

 

 

Preparations

Being ‘prepared’ for Sir is *always* on my mind, I think that’s why it’s doubly frustrating when he is not prepared for me …

After 22 some odd years I suppose it’s part and partial with life, but it’s not any less annoying or disheartening.

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Hope your Friday is fairing better!

 

To Dominate a dominant …

My travels lately have shown me this idea of keeping a submissive/slave off-balance, unsure and guessing in order to mess with their minds and see how far they will go to please, how hard they are willing to try I suppose …. This is me going against the grain again.

If things start to go side ways I no longer kneel, I stand straight and tall and strong. I do not play games, this is my real life. If you need to play games to try to keep me off-balance in order to maintain control than you are not strong enough to be in control of me.

I am a dominant remember, I don’t get worried or upset or emotional when things don’t go right, I get strong. I make plans and execute them in order to provide solutions. I am a problem solver not a worrier.

If I was to be put in a situation where there was no right answer, where you were setting me up to fail you would automatically lose all credibility and respect from me. Likewise if the answer or correct action was not clearly stated in hopes I misstepped you would again lose all respect.

This is another reason I say I am not submissive or D/s or M/s or what have you, I don’t BS, I don’t play games and do not try to f*ck with my head, you will not win.

I told you I have huge expectations of my dominant, not any one will do and that’s why I maintain that there is one and only one for me.

Where I came from many people have tried to get a ‘leg up’ on me, many people have been deceitful and full of games, and none of them ever succeeded. The only thing ever left up in the air is whether or not I want to ‘burn‘ them (not literally) and how badly ….

There was an incident this past weekend involving my brother that only solidified the validity of this statement. Once things were said and done the only thing people wanted to know was ‘have you told nijntje’? LOL

I was watching Man with a Plan the other night and they made a statement that explained it exactly. “Don’t be afraid of the crazy one, be afraid of the one the crazy one is a afraid of ….” My brother is the crazy one, and he is always making sure I’m pleased … 😉

So no, keeping me guessing or off-balance or what have you would not bring me more submissive feelings and satisfaction, it would bring out the dominant problem solving nature that could no longer kneel. The only way for me to maintain submissive and tap into my emotions is to be kept safe, secure and certain of my place and my dominant. That’s the only way I can kneel.

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That is all …..

Love You Always Sir! ❤

How menopause affects your Dynamic – Physical Part 1

I went out this weekend with Sir and we watched ‘menopause the musical’ – it was hilarious BTW and since I haven’t much time this week I thought I’d re-post the way it might affect your dynamic if you happen to be going through it too!

There are just as many emotional issues as there are physical ones when it comes to the MenoBeast and the show just put them all back out there for me in a very funny way!

And when it comes to this ‘beast’ it’s nice to know it’s not all just in your head and you’re not the only one!

nijntje & The Bear

I really do need to write some more on menopause and D/s, or at least the play aspect of D/s. Some of the physical issues really do affect what and how things are to be done/can reasonably be done. Not everyone is going to have the same symptoms but I can share what mine have been so far and what I have had to learn in order to better deal with them.

Most of my issue really has been the mental aspects of dealing with the physical issues. Let me start by saying I am a bit of a perfectionist and once I decide I am going to follow through with something I REALLY have a difficult time accepting any sort of failure, even if the failure is just in my mind. As part of the ‘warrior’ mentality I do not test, I am not a brat and I would…

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Super busy week!

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google search – Busy Bunnies Teatime

This week is very busy so unless I get some free time in the evenings I won’t be posting much of substance, if at all!

Snow is flying and I’m snuggling in for Bear hugs and warmth …. have a great week all! 😀

Love You Always Sir! ❤

Update: Sir is home …. lol

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Service or Submission? What’s your kink?

I was asked this question a while back and at first I didn’t really understand what they were getting at, eventually after some looking around I had an idea of what they meant and I answered ‘submission’. To me the difference between being in a D/s type relationship or not being in one is submission based (aka doing things He wants even if I don’t, He gets final say on everything).

I’m sure I’m going a bit against the grain here, as usual, but anyway! I don’t think of ‘service’ as a submission thing in general, I think of it as a responsible adult thing. I was doing all sorts of service oriented things long before I considered a submissive role in anything, it really has nothing to do one with the other for me.

When I was about 4 years old I figured out that the only one who was going to look out for me, get things done, and the only way to insure things were done properly was to do them myself – all of them myself. I had/have lived that way ever since, yes 4!

Getting in a relationship, getting married, having kids didn’t change my view. If I want a clean house I have to clean it, if I want a home cooked meal I have to cook it, if I want a pretty place to live I have to decorate it, if I want clean clothes I have to wash them …. if someone else’s clothes are down there well then throw them in too, why not? It’s a nice and kind way to show your love and appreciation for someone but not necessarily submissive to me. Responsible, yes – Adult, yes – Kind, yes …. but I did it all in a dominant role also.

So this brings me to submission, you know that saying about the horse that ran and ran and ran itself to death because it had no one telling it to stop? Yeah, that’s me … my greatest act of submission to this day is NOT being of service. Sitting still and not doing what needs to be done gnaws at me like nothing else. I have a huge issue with laziness and lack of responsibility. It’s part of the reason I am in such poor health physically now. I’ve always done much more than I should …..

I don’t need submission to tell me to do more and be respectful, I need it to tell me to take a step back and let it go …. to relax, to rest and to take care of myself in that way. The only time I ‘walk the line‘ or get the look is when I’m considering doing more than I should. That is what has changed in my life, I allow Sir to do for me …

I had never relied on anyone for anything before, I had never had the expectation of being cared for and I sure as h3ll never had the expectation that someone would do for me! That’s my submission, it goes against everything I had learned or ever knew …

As I’ve mentioned before I take care of everything, He takes care of me.

As a result I can still walk, I can still work and most days I can function relatively pain-free, and on the days I can’t I get the look and I rest, and I no longer feel guilty about it, *usually*! lol

Love You Always Sir! ❤

Being specific … communication check list.

For all the great qualities my Sir/husband has, and all the communicating we do …. being specific is not a strong suit for Him. At least not as specific as me, but then again ….  I tend to go a bit over board!  *Yikes* 😀 lol

I have a few theories on this;

  • He doesn’t really know what He wants to add/change/maintain because He has never had another long-term relationship like ours – no comparison to pull from
  • everything is already as He wants it, so what’s to work on or change?
  • anything He has ever read about training or submissive attitude doesn’t apply – I’ve been that way with Him since the beginning
  • He can’t read my mind and in effort to not sway His choice I’m not really being specific in my questions …. *dumb idea* I might add

So I finally did it, I finally asked Him specifically what I was thinking and getting at and guess what??? I got the answers I was looking for!

No more chasing my tail, do you know how ridiculous that is for a rabbit?? Seriously! *giggle*

I have decided I’m not a ‘submissive’ at all …. I think it will solve a lot of over thinking issues. I am a knight, I answer to the King and the King alone. I don’t need to be ‘handled’ and He has no need to ‘handle’ me – I was picked because I can do the job, no need to worry that I am doing it too well! 😛

I protect the kingdom and He has veto rights and final say ….

Enter your wolf scenario, …

Enter your leader and Ruler, …

Enter warrior princess, ….

I always end up at the same place no matter what you call it, the difference is this time HE has answered !!!  woot woot!! He has finally given me the answer I need, no more hiding or trying to be something I’m not. No more searching for a feeling I don’t need and He doesn’t want.

I will continue to kick some @ss in life and He will continue to be happy about it, and step in if and when needed. I just need to trust He will tell me when He doesn’t like it, and since He finally spoke up now I can trust Him to. It helps that He finally got *all* the information from me …. *sigh*
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Right back to where I started from, only just a bit more depth this time. And the journey continues ….

Love You Always my Wonderful ❤

 

Dominant acts

I’m sitting here this morning having a pretty hard time moving around or just simply walking. My mind is going to a few of those sites I talked about earlier, about how some of those ideas are just simply not for us.

How happy exactly do you suppose I would be if my dominant decided that certain acts were ‘submissive’ in nature and not for Him to do, like for example vacuuming, or bringing up the laundry or making the beds! Yes all of those things get done around here and Sir helps with all of them, and some are almost always done by Him exclusively. Forget happy, how healthy do you suppose I would be?

Do you suppose that these things should be left for me the submissive to do even though they cause extreme pain and even damage in some cases to my body? I have horrible allergies as well, they set off the most terrible migraine headaches at just the smallest hint of chemicals in the air so guess who cleans the bathrooms when it’s more than a wipe and sweep?

Is taking care of the one you have made yourself responsible for not a dominant thing to do? I’ve said before I consider myself dominant in life and submissive to Sir and Sir alone so from that perspective I will tell you that when I make a commitment to someone or something whatever needs to be done gets done! It doesn’t matter what it might look like to someone else, it doesn’t matter if the act is considered one of strength or not.

To me being a dominant, being a leader is not about appearances, it’s about being responsible, getting the job done and taking care of those ‘under’ your care whatever that might entail. I don’t make excuses, I don’t put things off and I don’t not do something because I might not appear big and mighty, I might not appear dominant …

When I can do things, I do them but when I can’t or shouldn’t be doing things I get told to leave them. That is honestly the hardest thing for me to follow but those are His rules.

He opens doors for me, carries the bags, takes my coat and even helps me with my shoes if I need Him too. He tucks me into bed, kisses my forehead and whispers I love you as I doze off to sleep …. If that’s not a dominant well, I’m fine with that!

All I know is that I am always happy, always fulfilled and never alone. I feel loved, cared for and protected. I can let my guard down, I can feel safe without worry or fear. Sir is the cause of ALL of that and from where I came from, trust me that is a lot!

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Thank you Sir for taking such great care of me …

Love You Always Sir ❤