I’ve read this in the past and just recently come across this idea again and I really have a hard time not chiming in so … here I go again.

I really honestly think that using BDSM as the only way to deal with your other mental and emotional issues, or any sort of M/s, D/s activity, is a terrible idea. I speak from personal experience as someone who has dealt with self harm and other mental health issues and someone who has studied and worked in the mental health field and has family members who still continue to have and deal with issues.

Practicing BDSM releases a variety of chemicals into your system that make you ‘feel good’, there is no doubt about that and the fact is that you can become addicted to and dependent on these chemicals in order to function, but is that really a good thing? Change the addiction to other drugs or alcohol and you know you are just heading for trouble so why would you think this to be any different?

Yes this is just my opinion based on my own experiences and knowledge but to me it seems to make sense to take care of your mental health in such a way that it can be sustained on its own, without these activities to keep you level. It makes me think what happens if and when I can no longer ‘play’ for whatever the reason? Am I doomed to spin out of control unless I find another partner? or another addiction to replace this one with? Is that really the healthiest way to take care of stress and emotional turmoil?

Submissive or not you should be able to stand tall and confident in your own skin, you should take steps to help yourself deal with whatever demons plague you, sometimes even professional help BEFORE you play with BDSM or any other such activity. You should be of sound mind before entering this type of relationship or any relationship for that matter.

A partner, friend or family member should never be made responsible for your mental health and happiness. No dominant can fix your life for you, they may make suggestions, yes call them ‘rules’ if you must but the one allowing it to be so is YOU and the one ultimately doing the work is YOU. So what happens if you find yourself without a dominant? You all of a sudden are lost. adrift, uncertain? You *gave* the power over to that dominant remember? Give the power to yourself …. allow yourself to take care of the issues first, then by all means play as hard and as long as you like, I do! 😉

I can sit quietly, alone in the dark and still be completely content and happy with myself. I can stand tall in the middle of a crowd and not hide. THAT’s why I play …

I’ve had my share of demons believe me, but this is not what I used to be rid of them.

Image result for take care of your own demons

Happy weekend all, take care of yourselves!

Love You Always Sir ❤

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8 thoughts on “BDSM is not a coping mechanism

  1. hallo lovely one … it’s weird … I think it’s because it had taken me 40 odd years to find Master … the things I have seen, done, participated in … I stand tall and say, yes I am strong and can stand on my own two feet etc … but I choose to need Him. (… emotionally I am just fine … but in practical life … I am hopeless.)

    I do so question what on earth this amazing Man sees in me- why does He call me His exquisite and beautiful slave. why … why does He trust me so and love me so …He could have the most beautiful of girls… why me.

    I am come to realise … I choose this crazy because … this is my addiction – the ups and downs – the sideways and zigzags… But an addiction that is just so delicious and never used to cover anything other than my desire to make this Man happy, to make His life easier even though it makes mine slightly more difficult …

    kisses sweet sweet girl x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sounds like you have it just as it should be my friend!

      Being mentally and emotionally stable is important first and foremost me thinks, after that, well we each pick and choose what works best for us and how. I think that’s just as it should be, and you are a great example!

      It’s the difference between choosing this life, or self medicating with it … 😀

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      1. yes my darling one .. what you don’t know I’d that I am also a manic depressive… I don’t take the pills because I hate what they do to me. for the last 6 months I have taken them with the hope of curing my migraines.. I don’t care about my migraines now …. let them cripple me … because I need me back …. last six months has been covered in vaseline –

        but I’ve gone cold turkey and a month and a half later … palpitations have stopped and my world is coming back xxx

        but I know me and I love Him … He Is my foundation and Rock … He holds me to my promises and my sanity !

        self medicating… even medicating is not good … it covers up and dulls everything.

        And Your pretty jolly groovy yourself dear one x

        Liked by 1 person

      2. “self medicating… even medicating is not good … it covers up and dulls everything”

        I can’t even begin to tell you how much I agree there! But that is an entirely different site for me!

        I do love the way you see what I’m saying and take it to the ‘next step’, tea really would be a good time I think! 😉

        Like

  2. I don’t think BDSM is a coping mechanism either, but i think discounting BDSM relationships in recovery is a huge misstep. I have build a wonderful support system within both the online and daily life BDSM scenes. I am not an island, i rely on others in my life. I went at it alone for years, and i am much happier with support.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I agree with you, any and all good relationships that create a support system and valuable and necessary!

      What I was trying to get across is the idea that you shouldn’t replace one addiction with another and think you have ‘fixed’ it. Masking an issues with anything, BDSM or otherwise is a mistake IMO.

      Like

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