Service or Submission? What’s your kink?

I was asked this question a while back and at first I didn’t really understand what they were getting at, eventually after some looking around I had an idea of what they meant and I answered ‘submission’. To me the difference between being in a D/s type relationship or not being in one is submission based (aka doing things He wants even if I don’t, He gets final say on everything).

I’m sure I’m going a bit against the grain here, as usual, but anyway! I don’t think of ‘service’ as a submission thing in general, I think of it as a responsible adult thing. I was doing all sorts of service oriented things long before I considered a submissive role in anything, it really has nothing to do one with the other for me.

When I was about 4 years old I figured out that the only one who was going to look out for me, get things done, and the only way to insure things were done properly was to do them myself – all of them myself. I had/have lived that way ever since, yes 4!

Getting in a relationship, getting married, having kids didn’t change my view. If I want a clean house I have to clean it, if I want a home cooked meal I have to cook it, if I want a pretty place to live I have to decorate it, if I want clean clothes I have to wash them …. if someone else’s clothes are down there well then throw them in too, why not? It’s a nice and kind way to show your love and appreciation for someone but not necessarily submissive to me. Responsible, yes – Adult, yes – Kind, yes …. but I did it all in a dominant role also.

So this brings me to submission, you know that saying about the horse that ran and ran and ran itself to death because it had no one telling it to stop? Yeah, that’s me … my greatest act of submission to this day is NOT being of service. Sitting still and not doing what needs to be done gnaws at me like nothing else. I have a huge issue with laziness and lack of responsibility. It’s part of the reason I am in such poor health physically now. I’ve always done much more than I should …..

I don’t need submission to tell me to do more and be respectful, I need it to tell me to take a step back and let it go …. to relax, to rest and to take care of myself in that way. The only time I ‘walk the line‘ or get the look is when I’m considering doing more than I should. That is what has changed in my life, I allow Sir to do for me …

I had never relied on anyone for anything before, I had never had the expectation of being cared for and I sure as h3ll never had the expectation that someone would do for me! That’s my submission, it goes against everything I had learned or ever knew …

As I’ve mentioned before I take care of everything, He takes care of me.

As a result I can still walk, I can still work and most days I can function relatively pain-free, and on the days I can’t I get the look and I rest, and I no longer feel guilty about it, *usually*! lol

Love You Always Sir! ❤

3 thoughts on “Service or Submission? What’s your kink?

  1. What a beautiful D/s relationship. I also take care of most responsibilities on my own and when I am of service to others it is because I love them and want to nurture them. Not because I am submissive. I like your definition of submission doing as your D-type says and giving them the final say. I am NOT a service sub. I am not going to do your chores for you just because I am a submissive. No thank you. Just not my thing.


  2. Thanks gracie!

    As much as I understand the idea behind service being submissive in nature for some I just simply don’t ‘feel’ anything of submission in doing it. I can’t say I’m for or against it , in our home it is just something that needs to be done, like any other responsibility.

    Some tasks are divided up with a relatively old fashioned feel about them but as I posted earlier some are not. It has more to do with our individual strengths and weaknesses than some dominant or submissive guide.

    Simply put the things we do would be done the same way with or without D/s, it’s teamwork … 😀


  3. Submission first and service naturally follows. At least kit feels like that way. Don’t over work yourself. Need to set aside sometime to enjoy simple life in things. Kit don’t have any children yet so don’t really know how that comes into play in terms of finding time for yourself…can’t help much =(

    Liked by 1 person

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