Today is Self Injury Awareness Day and I had originally just written my story here, but after some thought I decided that I should share the reason for my views on this site as well.
This speaks to the reason I have my hard limits and why I don’t think that a ‘cutter’ should ever use that as a kink.
I believe first and foremost that you are responsible for taking care of your own mental and emotional baggage before you start any sort of BDSM play if you truly want to fall under the safe, sane and consensual category. I also believe that no dominant can ever cure you of your ‘crazy’ whatever that might be simply by taking control of your life for you.
A spouse or partner should never be put in the position of dealing with or being responsible for anything of that nature. Have you ever heard of doctors or psychiatrists treating their own family and friends? Of course not …
And please no one point out that ridiculous movie that seems to imply that by simply finding a dominant your need for self harm will disappear! UGH! That was a fictional story …
I believe that if you have actually used cutting or some other form of self-injury in the past as a form of coping with mental issues the last thing you want to do is ‘play’ with it now. If you have truly gotten over the need than putting the knife in someone else’s hand is simply going to bring it and all the emotional and psychological issues back. If the way you got over it was simply to put the knife in someone else’s hand than you are not over it at all …. I’m afraid that’s simply a, ummm, ‘different pile’.
Self harm is an addiction used as a coping mechanism no different from drugs and alcohol. Would you tell a recovering alcoholic that they are safe to have a drink simply because it is their dominant who is controlling it and calling the shots?
My hard limits are all based on the things I did in the past to help me deal with life, they are things that became my addictions and nothing I want to relapse.
I view BDSM as a relaxing thing, a massage of the body and soul not a way to cope with life or hide away from my pain. I use BDSM when I am already happy and fulfilled, I’m just looking to relax.
Love You Always Sir ❤