I’m strictly thinking out loud here and reacting to things I have read. I am sure (or at least I certainly hope) that there are many people out there finding their way around and still using the thing a top their necks …. but there also seems to be a group that is not.

So tell me, just because you put the word ‘kinky’ or ‘dominant’ (Daddy/Sir/Master or what have you) into the mix when you are looking for a new life partner all the things that you have learned about safety and dating and getting to know someone first goes right out the window? Really?

If you (and I mean women because I happen to be one so that is obviously my perspective) were in a vanilla situation and meeting a man for the first time would your instincts tell you to go ahead and meet in a private home or hotel room? So you’ve chatted for a while and had ‘face time’ or some other video encounter, would you think it was appropriate to go somewhere alone? If you are looking for more than just a casual sex relationship would you be starting off taking about anal and blow jobs and such? Would you not have a whole lot of red flags going off inside your brain?

So you want a D/s or M/s relationship because you want it to be deeper and more meaningful than your vanilla relationships but for some reason they get a ‘pass’ for all the ‘good guy’ first parts? In my opinion a good Master must first be a good Man!

Your mamma was right, if you want more than just a fling, keep your panties on! If he can’t be bothered to get to know you first how is he supposed to be the one who cares for you? If he has no interest in waiting, he likely has no interest in staying ….

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Wisdom is important regardless of what flavour you choose, and truth never changes.

If you wouldn’t do it vanilla, don’t do it now …. If it’s too soon vanilla, it’s too soon now … if you think he is using you vanilla, he is using you now. If he’s not what you want while in and amongst vanilla, he is NOT what you want now!

And if you haven’t listened to anything else at least listen to this. Even if you haven’t consented to being bound don’t you think he can overpower you easily …. saying you can handle yourself doesn’t make you a tough @ss, it makes you a dumb @ss. Just how many horrible stories have to be written before you take heed?

Ladies please, use your common sense!

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7 thoughts on “Being in the ‘lifestyle’ means you lose your common sense??

      1. I hope so … in my old vanilla life … I had no sense … I think then I was searching for where I belonged. then I found my place and common sensible sense just can naturally x

        I think it is because they are so terribly sad and lonely – my heart breaks for them x they have no idea of their value x

        Liked by 2 people

  1. It is so weird how even the most sensible people can lose all sense when going D/S. It compares to falling for someone the first time(young love) only this can be and is alot more unsafe. People need to take a step back and re-group their senses before jumping head long into this. Hopefully some are listening.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You are wise and level headed. If you’ve read my blog you know I made all those mistakes when I dove in to the murky waters of D/s. (I should rephrase – it’s not that the waters are murky. It’s that new submissives, or submissive wanna-be’s are so gung-ho and enraptured that they cannot think clearly. They are totally blind to reason.) No matter how much we more experienced folk give warnings, and talk about going slowly, using safety nets and safe calls and going to safe places WITH friends; taking baby steps, using your brain and heeding warning signs… they still fall hard for these ridiculous pseudo doms. *Note I did not capitalize the ‘d’ because these men are not in any sense of the word real Dominants. They are abusers out for a good time. I know. I have been there. I think we should write a book about how to be submissive and finding your Dominant the safe way! Hugs to you always, n!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s much too easy to forget how to be safe and wise when you are in the midst of a frenzy ….
      If I can reach even just a few people then my efforts will have been rewarded. We need to stick together and help each other whenever possible.
      And I agree, I wouldn’t call those characters ‘D’s either!

      Liked by 1 person

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