One thing that I tend to have a hard time maintaining is this idea that I can and should be offering myself to my dominant/husband for, well … sex! I know I don’t often write about sex and I have no intention of going into details, not sexual details anyway, but the idea that it’s okay for me to basically ask or initiate by asking is one that I know in my mind makes sense but one that my manners and ladylike ideals want to avoid. If I do manage to get past that (which I have for the most part with His guidance and acceptance) now I have this nagging thought that submissive’s don’t start things, DOMs do! In a scene or part-time situation I suppose that makes sense, and I’m not saying anyone has told me that, it’s just from reading and thinking too much I believe! I don’t think I’m the only one who has this ridiculous notion either ….
So this someone I talk to mentioned to me about maybe going half way, providing a starting point for Sir I think is what he meant, basically foreplay from my side …. at least I think that’s what he meant. My fear/worry was that I might be talking Him into something He really didn’t want to do ….. sounds silly doesn’t it?
I’m not sure there is a man out there who doesn’t at the very least enjoy being pursued and presented with a sexy show of some sort, and a Dominant man will gladly watch and then decide what if anything to do about it! I’m pretty sure that putting on a show of sorts would not be forcing His hand at anything …. and at this point He might even enjoy telling me I need to wait!! ;P
My rational side knows all these things obviously, but my girly emotional side gets caught up in them and then feels confused as to how best proceed! I know, I know, totally ridiculous ….. this is why I have decided to stop looking! At least for now, ideas are great but I need to get a solid hold on me for now before I continue looking for new and exciting ideas.
The animalistic, wolf like side of the story for me works just fine right now. Animals don’t over analyze or worry, they act and react, they work on instinct and they have a very strict and noted hierarchy, there is posturing and submission but not contracts or schedule. It’s natural, raw, primal and real …… and right now that’s all I need to focus on because the truth is that is closer to the real me, the real us than any of the things I have come across.
When the Alpha female wants to ‘play’ she ‘kneels’ and lays down and presents herself for the taking. The dominant male will either ‘play’ or He won’t, but she doesn’t worry about whether or not she is forcing His hand, He’s the Boss – you can’t force anything on Him, He does what He likes. I need to make it so this is the idea stuck in my head …. that and the fact that Sir prefers slower shaking of the back side! 😉 LOL
Love You Always Sir! ❤