Holiday Family & Friends (and some D/s)

A good reminder …. it’s easy to get distracted this time of year.

nijntje & The Bear

I’m pretty lucky in my life, most of the time I do not have much drama to deal with, even during the holidays. Not that people don’t do things in my family like everyone else’s, and things don’t happen in my family like everyone else’s, I have just decided long ago that there were two paths I could take….

One would be where I allowed their issues and ideas to become my problem, then comes stress or a fight and unhappiness; and the other is where I make a decision about what is necessary and what I need to do and stick to it, be happy with it regardless and move on regardless of what happens next!

Now I’m not saying I don’t try to be hospitable and make all my guests comfortable to the best of my ability, but what I am saying is that I am not going…

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Oh Boy!

I hate taking off my leather but I wake and put on my day collar. I can already feel your hands around my throat, your breath on my neck and hear your growl ….

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My mind is already slipping to places it shouldn’t be ….

I close my eyes and tilt my head and breathe you in, your energy still in the room.

Time to get dressed, I check my cuffs, is it odd that I was wondering if my interview last evening was going to see them and ask me if I was owned?? Even in the middle of work I’m fully aware that I am yours.

It’s only 7:30 am and all you’ve done so far is kiss my forehead good morning and wish me a happy day! Oh Boy, I think it’s going to be a long one!

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Have you ever watched wolves play? Fair warning Sir, you might get pounced on when you walk through the door. I guess I’ll find out if you are going to indulge me or nip! Either way ….. tee hee hee

Can’t wait til you’re home Sir 😀

Love You Always ❤

Things reaffirmed

List of things learned or reaffirmed this weekend:


I’m strong, I like it that way.

I’m strong, you like it that way.

I like to have my limits tested, I like to be pushed.

You like to have someone to push.

The more strength I show, the more strength you show.

Have you ever heard of a wolf in sheep’s clothing? This time it’s a bunny’s ….


Living on the wild side is exhilarating …

And when you scream that loud you get a very sore throat!

And that I’m too exhausted to give a more in-depth post!

THAT was fun!!! Happy Monday 😀

Love You Always Sir ❤



Tree trimmed!

mantle1 mantle2The room is not the easiest to photograph, especially with our little camera but here are some shots of the before and after …..  It didn’t help that there were boxes full of decorations and two dogs to get around.

The mantle before and after … I have worked in the wreath over the years. The greenery will stay for the winter but the gold and red will need to be changed out for more woodsy decor.

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And the tree …. I’m not sure if I’ll add to it or not but for the time being the Bear seems to be happy! 😀 Obviously the tree will come down in the new year and my table will be returned and some other winter snow men and things added.

If you look out the windows you can see that we are now in the middle of a snow storm. Good thing I have a Bear to keep me warm! I didn’t get my wine because it was much too early in the day, but I did get my CD and good company! And He only broke one bulb …. !

Love You Bear ❤

Sundays, fun days and confusing your teens!

Do you know what’s really funny? When your kids can’t figure out what in the world kept you busy from when you got up til after lunch that you couldn’t make the jello!! LOL

The oldest was asking for some jello last night and we discussed making it today. I guess the idea was that if I made it in the morning, by the time he got up (into the afternoon of course!) it would be ready to eat. So this afternoon when I finally convinced him to open his eyes and wake up the first thing he asked for was the jello. I had forgotten about the jello, I’ve been kind of busy! 😉

So he says to me, ‘What do you mean you didn’t have time to make the jello, you get up what around 7?? You have been busy for over 5 hours, the whole time’??

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I very innocently said ‘Well I did have a coffee’! teehee  ‘But yes I have been busy the entire time …’

He wasn’t being rude or anything, he was just really confused and at a loss as to what could have possibly taken me all morning to do. LOL And the kids think us old folks are boring! LOL Yeah right!!

Happy Sunday All!


Simple Things

In my last post I expressed how girls are girls across the board, regardless of dynamic. This is just one example, very simple, very short, no planning and not kinky, but oh so effective!

One of the quickest ways for Sir to claim my mind, and than of course every thing else follows suit! I don’t suggest you start with this though if you already have a huge rift, best to work on that slowly first! 😉

I usually make it a point of wearing something even more to His liking on Fridays (work appropriate) because He is always home early. One of the quickest ways to start the weekend off right is when He walks through the door, greetings of course … and then He stands back, gets that gleam in His eye, smirk on His face and says “You wore that for my benefit didn’t you?”

Image result for man kissing woman foreheadI’m left feeling a little bit sheepish, a little bit silly, a lot girly and totally His! ❤

See, no kink required!

Love You Always Sir ❤

New Chapter – New perspective

I’ve been talking to someone recently, getting an outside perspective and in turn having to put some things down in black and white of my own.

I think some things are becoming clear that are hard to describe but very much on point when it comes to our relationship, our D/s, M/s or in this case R/l …. lol 😉

I’m going to start doing things more ‘natural’ and ‘primal’ and much less scripted or contracted as is the seemingly accepted method. I’m not saying that it doesn’t have it’s validity but after 20+ years you really can’t back track and pretend you don’t know the other person, and in some instances better than they know themselves.

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I have a feeling this might be the missing puzzle piece … I’m going to start working on instinct because I have a feeling it’s going to give us both the highest form of connection.

I am a leader and trying to suppress that is unnatural, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to Rule, while I continue to lead. Some of us are just wild at heart, it doesn’t mean we don’t respect the hierarchy, it just means we have our own way of doing things.

I never have ‘fit in’ and I didn’t even realize I was trying too. We are 90% of the way there, I think the elusive 10% is here sometimes when we are not thinking but acting instinctively instead and missing when we are trying to turn this energy into something we have read or been told.

A Ruler relies on His ‘first hand’ to keep things flowing and working, and you rely on me for that too! I don’t really think you want to rule over someone who is not strong, because when I try to hide my strength your domination seems to wane.

You have picked the things you want to manage and I think you have picked the things you want me to manage and wait for instructions on …. our relationship is more instinct driven, it’s more animalistic, more raw and less about words and appearances.

That’s my thinking and that’s what I would like to work on maintaining. See, I make choices and I make plans …. and now I wait on the Ruler of my wilderness to give me the go ahead. No less submissive to Him, just different maybe.

I started this blog in this tone, I’m not sure what happened exactly but if I get permission it will be going back that way … maybe with a few more details of how and what I do and did. Still no graphic content or letting you into my sex life! Sorry, still private and only for One!

I think I might be able to sleep now! Night all, Happy Friday Evening !!! 😀



It’s not about Vanilla

There are certain truths about relationships, and from my perspective, for women that are true across the board regardless of what dynamic you choose. As much as I don’t like writing generalities this is going to be one of those posts, and yes I do know that there are always exceptions but ….

The story of people drifting apart as time goes on is not a new one, the idea that their sex lives gets to be less and less and the connection follows suit. These scenarios are so common place that they are the subject of various jokes and movies.

Even though I know that there are a lot of things about me that are uncommon there are also many more that are very female! As a woman I know that most of us start off our relationships and marriages always ready to please and be pleasing. We prim and prep for when our husbands come home, we wear those jeans that you love, that cute little top that you just can’t take your eyes off of. We make sure our hair looks just so for when you walk through the door, we check our makeup …

By Friday we put on our ‘good’ bra and panties just in case you’re thinking what we’re thinking … pay a bit of extra attention to our hair and maybe even sneak in an evening shower. Eventually our efforts are noticed less and less and we get hurt. We don’t often act hurt, we get sassy, then maybe even rude and then you guys like to use the word bitchy! Have you ever stopped to wonder what part of the change you played? The less and less attention we get, the faster this happens, it’s not the marriage papers.

Part of the reason D/s is so appealing, especially to women is because we get noticed and we feel wanted. It has nothing to do with vanilla, rainbow or butterscotch ripple, its human nature. One of the biggest parts of this dynamic is honest communication and attentive listening and you can incorporate that regardless of what flavour you like.

You don’t need to be D/s to have a good relationship, you need to be attentive, you need to care and mostly you need to show it consistently! Isn’t that what you want too?

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Every relationship is a circle of energy, one feeding the other. It takes two to make it work, what are you doing about it?

No, you can’t control anyone else but you can control yourself.

Happy Friday 😀


Feeling a bit …

I’m not sure what’s going on exactly but I’m feeling a bit off. Last night and this morning I think I’m just getting wrapped up inside my head. The ritual last evening didn’t really leave me feeling any sort of connection, more like a ‘tool’ putting in my time and then done.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of writing and I think I’m getting lost inside my head again instead of living here in the real world.

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The weekend is coming and I’m looking forward to concentrating on the outside world and getting re-balanced!

This is a bad time of year for me as it is, I always feel like I’m living a double life. It’s very weird. Our connection – I don’t want to turn into that …

Have you ever complained that you were too good at something? Because I’m really too good at compartmentalizing ….

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Every so often I need to actively remove myself from this box that time and experience has created. No better time than the present …. !

If the mind is strong enough to put me in a box, it’s also strong enough to take me out, it’s a choice, I’m making mine!

Can’t wait til the weekend Sir, Happy Friday!

Love You Always Sir ❤