It’s not about Vanilla

There are certain truths about relationships, and from my perspective, for women that are true across the board regardless of what dynamic you choose. As much as I don’t like writing generalities this is going to be one of those posts, and yes I do know that there are always exceptions but ….

The story of people drifting apart as time goes on is not a new one, the idea that their sex lives gets to be less and less and the connection follows suit. These scenarios are so common place that they are the subject of various jokes and movies.

Even though I know that there are a lot of things about me that are uncommon there are also many more that are very female! As a woman I know that most of us start off our relationships and marriages always ready to please and be pleasing. We prim and prep for when our husbands come home, we wear those jeans that you love, that cute little top that you just can’t take your eyes off of. We make sure our hair looks just so for when you walk through the door, we check our makeup …

By Friday we put on our ‘good’ bra and panties just in case you’re thinking what we’re thinking … pay a bit of extra attention to our hair and maybe even sneak in an evening shower. Eventually our efforts are noticed less and less and we get hurt. We don’t often act hurt, we get sassy, then maybe even rude and then you guys like to use the word bitchy! Have you ever stopped to wonder what part of the change you played? The less and less attention we get, the faster this happens, it’s not the marriage papers.

Part of the reason D/s is so appealing, especially to women is because we get noticed and we feel wanted. It has nothing to do with vanilla, rainbow or butterscotch ripple, its human nature. One of the biggest parts of this dynamic is honest communication and attentive listening and you can incorporate that regardless of what flavour you like.

You don’t need to be D/s to have a good relationship, you need to be attentive, you need to care and mostly you need to show it consistently! Isn’t that what you want too?

Every relationship is a circle of energy, one feeding the other. It takes two to make it work, what are you doing about it?

No, you can’t control anyone else but you can control yourself.

Happy Friday 😀