You don’t need to be kinky to apply the ideas that really make the relationship worth pursuing. Everyone wants to be:
Noticed
Acknowledged
Appreciated
In the beginning of this adventure of ours the D/s or M/s idea was really nothing more than a kinky turn on to be tapped into on the weekends for some fun play in the bedroom. We played with some things just on instinct, let’s face it some of the ‘toys’ are pretty obvious and don’t require much practice! lol You don’t really need to be a genius to figure out how to use wrist cuffs …. As we got more comfortable we started looking for information on other things and methods, things that required some actual talent and time to learn. We found a site with chat that was specific to BDSM and the D/s lifestyle, or so it said …
After not too much time two things became apparent to us, one that the site was really only about sex and nothing else, and two that what we had/have was what most of them were looking for …. but most importantly that if we started looking in the right places we were going to find something even greater than the two of us had accomplished on instinct alone …
I guess since we were never much into labels we never fell prey to all the B/s that masquerades as D/s out there …. the site we found felt very fake and staged. They preached communication but then wanted mirror practice on how to hide your emotions from showing through on your face, etc. etc. … Unfortunately the more I looked the more I found the same or similar ideas across the board. Punishments are for fun?? I guess my English is just not quite right yet …
I guess this is one of the reasons we don’t role play, nothing about our relationship is faked or forced. We are partners in this life and we are providing the three above ideas to each other from our respective sides of this dynamic.
All the rules, all the protocols all the kink and even all the love you feel will still leave you searching if either of you forgets to continually show these three, because no matter which side you are on everyone wants to be:
Noticed
Acknowledged
Appreciated
Sir knows He can have whatever He wants, whenever He wants but He never forgets to say thank you. I used to think that maybe He shouldn’t, that it might somehow take away from the power exchange but now I know He was right of course … that’s why He’s the one in charge.
Another rainy indoor day …. Happy Friday!
Love You Always Sir ❤
It is not just about kink but if you google BDSM click on images it tells a different story.
It took me some 25 years to find out who and what I was.
I always blamed the slave when the relationship failed but it was not them it was me because I was not who I said I was. In my mind I was but I failed to keep my word.
Now that I’ve change my path and way of thinking I was able to bottle up all those years of experience and come up with a plan , a plan that would mean I actually had to put an effort into a relationship, and maintain it.
Today and 4.5 years with my wife and slave I am in a good place. I am about structure, protocols, and control not only control over my slave but my surroundings.
The kink comes when ever it is never planned
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You have hit the nail right on the head. My husband and I had the connection long before we found the kink … He has been such a person that I have wanted to be for Him and serve Him without any order or command.
To some it may appear that ‘we’ are working backwards, but I say we are not …. because for every site I find stating that submission is hard, I say it is not, not if you have a real DOM.
My submission has been inspired, not ordered or contracted … we’ll be married 20 years this spring, I don’t think whatever anyone else thinks really matters at this point! lol (no offence, just levity)
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very lovely, very beautiful…thank you ❤
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Thank you 😀
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