Self advocating

I feel that a very important part of making this type of relationship work is self advocating. That’s what all the communication is about after all. The idea of blindly following someone and letting them rule over your life without being mindful of your own needs and making sure that they are being met is ridiculous to me.

I don’t think anyone should be in a power exchange relationship if you are not secure enough to make sure you are being taken care of properly and advocate for yourself if you feel you are not! Any dominant who gets upset or worse, angry because you are speaking up and being honest about how you feel and what you need is not deserving of the title, or the respect.

This is my life after all, not a game. Regardless of the dynamic I have chosen the responsibility for my life ultimately falls to me. The most important aspect of this relationship is that it is consensual and it is my responsibility to give or revoke that consent depending on how things are going.

Now don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying that just because you don’t like a decision or rule you should give and take your consent on a whim, I’m saying if you spend more time being miserable and wishing for something different than you do being happy and content in your role than perhaps you should seriously evaluate where you are and what you are doing.

Being submissive, or whatever you want to call yourself should make your life better not worse. The decision might not be easy to make but it’s your life after all, how much of it do you want to waste?

Different relationships have different protocols but open honest communication without anger or prejudice in a timely manner and often is a must! Without that you are simply kinky vanilla ….

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Love You Always Sir ❤

14 thoughts on “Self advocating

  1. This quality of content brought me to follow you.

    A Dominant one should always be open to the other’s voice. If not then the other should ask themselves two questions. The first is to ponder what was said. Was it in an acceptable tone/tenor and at the right place/time or was it bratting, topping from bottom, what have you…? After reflecting on that, ponder if the other is showing a Dominant way or a domineering one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful points. This really resonated with me – I’m beginning to understand that I paddle my own canoe (so to speak) and D/s continues to open that awareness. I struggle a bit with being sub and my own driver… I really appreciate the way you’ve articulated the balance in this post. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, ma’am! I’m glad you liked it!

      I could call myself the queen of England if I wanted to, doesn’t make it true though. Those posers your goddaughter got stuck with would very quickly see that I am more dominant than anything if I had had the ‘pleasure’! *wink*

      Unfortunately there seems to be a good amount of them out there, it makes these blogs much more important. *sigh*

      Liked by 1 person

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