There are so many of you who have decided to follow in the last couple of months that I thought I should fill you in on a few details just to help make my posts make sense.
I’m 43 years young and have been battling with some physical issues all my life, some from trauma and some because I’m just lucky (sarcasm)! The last post Escape was more to do with my physical feelings than my mental or emotional state. Obviously one affects the other but this is certainly the physical that starts it all.
I have been going through perimenopause since I was about 35/6, with any luck I should be just about done, the doctor says it’s not uncommon to last for about 10 years so I’d say I should be due for a break!! The symptoms are not ongoing for the full 10 years, some do come and go from time to time. I think because of all my preexisting physical issues some of these things get doubled in effect and difficulty.
I have a bad back, 2 injured disks from childhood trauma and 1 I was born with, I have a bad hip due to an unfortunate chiropractor appointment some 14 years ago and I have bad knees. I suffer from both tendinitis and carpal tunnel currently affecting me all the way up to my shoulders and I get migraines. If that’s not enough I also suffer from Raynaud’s Phenomenon to the extreme. The cold creeping in on me is real, I was outside on a relatively mild day and was already suffering the first stages of frostbite ….
So now that you have an idea of what I’m dealing with physically right now (because menopause tends to bring it all on at once) my chemical balance must be off again as well because my mood takes a turn every so often and a general melancholy sets in, coupled with the physical and sometimes I just need to get the words out of my head.
These are not things that go on for days or weeks that I don’t talk to Sir about, they are spur of the moment – what’s happening in my head right now things that I need to get down in words. First they help Sir to know what’s going on from time to time so that He can help me navigate through it and because it’s important for your spouse to know, and secondly putting it down in words always helps me to make sense of it and then turn it around for myself. If my mood starts to take a turn when He is with me He already knows why and can deal with it accordingly.
None of these things are on going, my Sir is very good at reading what I have written daily and taking care of business. This blog just helps me put it into words when I need to so that nothing gets lost or forgotten through the day. Most posts are done in 30 minutes or less and any ‘bad mood’ generally leaves me with the publish button. 97% of the time I’m happy and content and fulfilled it’s the other 3% that sometimes finds its way onto these pages ….
I know I need to communicate for this to work and that’s what this blog helps me to do. So even if it’s just a fleeting thought or feeling, it gets written down and Sir gets to know about it …
Most of the time my posts are happy or just thoughtful but every so often they might be melancholy or a glimpse into my thought process.
Love You Always Sir ❤