My Sir, the sadist

I can tell when the mood is right and the focus is completely on what He wants … He feels strong and in control and the only energy in the room.

When that energy is about Him I get completely lost in it, completely at His mercy and no thoughts or feelings invade my mind, nothing but Him and a peaceful calm.

It sounds backwards … the calm and stillness I get from such a rough and primal act, but that is exactly how it feels to me. It’s like existing on another plane where only the two of us are there and I have no need for worries or fears. The impact heightens all my senses including the belonging and security of being completely His …

This is miles from where we started and I’m certain that tapping into this side of Himself was not easy, but He did it for me …. I think and hope now that it is for Himself too.

Image result for dom and his toysWe had the smallest taste of what it could be like if we had the house to ourselves this past week. It was only a few hours but it was even more freeing then we could have imagined ….

I love my kids, but I can’t wait to have my SIr more often! 😉

Love You Sir ❤


Just a re-blog, some of you are new to the site and I felt that this is one very important aspect of my personality that you should understand …. most of my more detailed and in depth posts were done at the beginning of this blog.
If you are interested in more of my point of view instead of just my daily interactions you might want to back track a bit … the posts are reactions to things I heard when first starting on this journey and things that I tried to make sense of along the way! 😀

nijntje & The Bear

I’ve been talking a lot lately to people all over the world and the one common thread is how many of us have demons in our past that we just can’t shake. Everyone has ways of dealing with them, or so they say …. In my opinion dealing with them usually means hiding from the truth or pushing it deep down where you think no one can see it and it can’t reach you. My experience has been that that way of dealing really just doesn’t work.

In order to truly be over whatever it is that is weighing you down in life you need to first face it, head on. It likely won’t be easy and it won’t be pleasant but it will be worth it in the end. You need to start this journey just like any other you actually wish to conquer, with being really honest with…

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Why (thoughts on various ideas)

Many thoughts on things seen, read, heard about etc.. Too many to have to explain each one now … let me know if you would like clarification on any … mostly rambling.

Why does it require an erotic book and a ‘dynamic’ for people to understand that you should respect one another in a committed relationship, or any for that matter?

Is it really necessary to have names, and labels for couples to understand that the best way to coexist is trust, honesty, respect and communication and that it will only strengthen your love for each other?

Is it really that difficult to understand that if two people are both vying for the ‘first’ position the power struggle will only cause issues and a riff? Why is it not common knowledge that if you want to be together in a long-term, working relationship one of you should be able and willing to take the lead and the other should be comfortable and happy to trust and follow? Even if it’s very subtle ….

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If you do choose to take the lead, then you should understand your responsibility in it, it’s a commitment … don’t forget it.

If you choose to be the one following it doesn’t mean you become mindless or without wants or thoughts, so speak up, speak clearly and be honest. It also doesn’t mean you no longer have responsibilities …

If you do choose to use names and labels in your life, you should remember that people are multifaceted, not linear. Trying to fit into one small box of characteristics tends to feel shallow and ultimately like a life unfulfilled.

Embrace all you are, call on your various strengths when needed and remain humble and real no matter what you call yourself.

If there are bigger issues at play, don’t fool yourself into thinking a dynamic of any sort will fix it. Big, little, pet, slave, Master, Sir or whatever …. some things just require a professional in the field and kink is not it. I personally think it’s unfair to put that type of pressure on any personal relationship, that’s why doctors don’t take family or friends on as patients! Think about it …

If you work on being happy with yourself, who you are and what you’re about everything else tends to fall into place and work itself out. Nothing beats self acceptance and love.

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Happy Friday! 😀

Love You Sir ❤




More and more I think that maybe I’m, my life is … a cliché …. I have always been about the music, the Christmas movies and the romantic comedies … (mostly music) and I refused to stop until I found the feeling, the happily ever after, the one!

Now a days it feels like when I watch, or listen, or read …. I find I identify very much with where I am and what I have. I’m as crazy, honest, strong and ready as any heroine and He is as stable, sure and immovable as any Hero.

Maybe I’m a cliché, or maybe fantasy come true, either way I wouldn’t change my happily ever after!

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Listening to the radio again …**blush**

Love You Sir ❤


My scattered thoughts today ….

A trail of thoughts through my mid-morning and afternoon ….

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I woke up this morning with many ideas in my head, much to say and write about, the thoughts having played on my mind all night as is the case with anything before I finally get a chance to write it down!

We had had a nice conversation last night, some things I had read about from my explorations on-line! Some things just coming together for me in my own mind from putting things together through the experiences of others, learning …!

I was going to put them all down today in a nice post, hopefully coherent enough for anyone who might happen upon it! And then came your message this morning! (Darn bunny talks too much, humm??)

First command was to wear your ring on my finger today until just after lunch …. okay! It took a few minutes for me to get up to getting it, I was conscious of the fact that I still needed to the whole time, not panic or worry, just aware. I was getting to the instructions just a soon as feasibly possible (again spirit of) so I didn’t feel stressed over it, but just physically aware that there was still something missing.

When I did get the ring on my thumb (it’s much too big for my fingers) it’s presence kept me mindful of why I was wearing it, even though truthfully it is a bit of a pain with my job, and having to wash my hands often and knowing that it is still way too loose and could fall off at anytime. Depending on the exact task at hand I will switch it back and forth from one hand to the other …. all the while very consciously aware that I am doing this for you, that I belong to you. It also reminded me of the next task set out, and the fact that it was because of my submission to you ….

After lunch the ring came off and the second task completed, (I’m not going into detail) although it did not require a lot of time it did require a lot of my concentration and made me feel even more submissive and mindful. My connection to you has been heightened through these tasks and my mind now is very much on pleasing you and following directions.

I have placed your ring on my necklace as per your instructions and every so often I get a slight panic that it’s not still on my thumb, until I remember that it’s now safely around my neck and I slide my thumb into it anyway … thinking of you and waiting for you to be home.

None of the tasks set out by you are/were overwhelming or dificult to complete but they do make me feel connected and cared for and mindful of my submission. You said you’d be asking about them tonight …. I’m eager to curl up and tell you about my day Sir!

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I’ve got some things now to get caught up on and cleaned away, I know that’s what you would like to see so I guess the ideas and eureka’s will just have to wait for another day!

Love You Always Sir ❤

Happy Monday

Busy weekend and lots of fun had, too bad Monday always seems to find us!! LOL

dscn0934At least my hair will keep me bright and cheery looking … seems to be quite the aphrodisiac!

I had this whole post idea about “Whose Orgasm is it Anyway?’ but I think that will just need to wait. I’m afraid my mind is just not quite there to give the post the full depth I was hoping for … Got to love Mondays!

Oh, and I wanted to ask if you could do something for me …umm, allow something for me …. If you’re not too tired from Monday, can we chat tonight? Thank you Sir …

Love You Always ❤


Time … so wonderfully wasted!

Oh the times, they are a changin’ ….

I used to be a Martha and Betty shoo-in, all good things and baked goods! Now I’m more of an Yvonne De Carlo

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That’s not to say that I don’t still like to have things organized and I don’t still enjoy cooking and baking … those things just take a second seat to primming and prepping and looking good for my man, so that I can hopefully waste the weekend rolling around in bed 😉 or where ever else He decides to take me!!

I’m more fun. more happy and more free! The kids have informed me that I have many laughs but they know just how they all go and they imitate them quite well, or so says Sir. Apparently I do more laughing and smiling and just plain having fun than anything else in my day-to-day …..

I’m going to have to say it’s time well wasted then! And yes, everything else still gets done … even if it does take an extra day or two! Who cares …. why put off til tomorrow the happiness of today?

Happy Sunday!!

Love You Sir ❤

This past year ….

Humm, there has been so much change in this past year but most of it subtle I think and likely not noticed by most. Not that it should be noticed by anyone but us, it is our life and our adventure! 😀

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Out side of the crazy, hot, kinky sex …. which is most certainly a good thing, the main differences for me I guess would be based on how I see my place in our marriage now, as opposed to where I always was. I have mentioned before that the manners and old-fashioned mannerisms have always been here for me. I’ll even go out on a limb and suggest that you became more of an old fashioned ‘gentleman’ because of my actions and expectations …

The biggest change for me is that I actually do count on you now, like really count on you. I think we were always 90% of the way there but I just didn’t know for certain that you wanted the responsibility, point-blank, so I always had an alternate plan, just in case. Now I don’t ….. that makes me vulnerable, truly vulnerable all the time, total loss of control – to you!

The feeling of vulnerability for me stems from not having a backup plan in case you don’t manage something on my behalf, in case you don’t make me and my well-being in every situation a priority on your list. To truly submit for me means to not second guess you or expect that you won’t take care of something … just maybe. You could forget, you could be distracted and not notice, you might simply not realize it is an issue …. any sort of thing could potentially get in the way, but I trust you with it regardless.

How can I possibly be so trusting? Well it’s simple really, I know for certain that I am your priority and as to everything else that might happen, well I’m open, honest and I’m sure to communicate all my needs and fears etc. I’ve said many times in many posts that being dominant does not mean being a mind reader, and if that’s what I was expecting, well then I would be very sorely disappointed! This does take some reality checks on my part, that is for certain, but the more and more I am open and communicate, the more and more you can do your job and take the lead.

There is no Fifty Shades of BS here! My life is not a story book that someone thought up and sold millions of copies. I remember actually having the conversation, much to a lot of people’s dismay, that the story book version almost turned me against this whole lifestyle idea! LOL I might be new to the terminology and new to the kink, but to following you and your lead anywhere you decide to take me, … well to that I am not new.

An obvious side effect of the D/s, if you will, is that the boys now expect the decisions to come from their dad, not me! Now that was probably the most obvious change and the hardest/sweetest to swallow! Talk about a double-edged sword! On one hand I was very proud that the subtleties of everyday life had changed to where the boys knew to now ask you for permission where in the past 15 years or so they had always come to me … On the other hand the fear of losing their respect was very much in the back of my mind.

My thoughts/and hopes on this are that they realize that I defer to you for the final say but that you still regard my thoughts and wishes very highly. My hope is that they see your respect for me and realize that I haven’t changed in my standing, you have just grown stronger in yours, because that’s the way I see it, and I think that’s the way it should be.

The rules, the rituals, the kink …. they are all fine and more often then not fun too! At the end of the excitement and ‘honeymoon’ of starting this dynamic I think people start to realize that it takes commitment, it takes honesty and it takes realistic expectations.

If I need something I ask, and if you need something from me I expect you will do the same. If we couldn’t be honest with each other and communicate as well as we do I don’t think any sort of ‘story’ would make it all okay ….

I might only be 3 years into kink, but I have always been yours!

Love You Sir ❤



The Dance

The more submission I offer, the more dominant you become. it’s the dance of our relationship and sometimes it’s more active and sometimes it’s almost standing still, but it’s always a dance.


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Fire Dance Show/Costa Rica

I have never been of the opinion that ‘if only you were more dominant, then I could be more submissive’. I don’t honestly think that’s the way it works, although I have heard it said many times …. I believe that the true person in control of the relationship is the submissive, because at the end of the dance a simple safe word stops ALL, period!

The submissive decides how far they are willing to go, how far they will follow and when they will stop. The submissive ultimately puts up the parameters and provides the play yard for the dominant to use and enjoy …. but it starts and ends with the submissive.

So if I want you to be more dominant and use more of your strength in leading this dance, then I must offer up more submission and put myself in a position to follow.

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Submission is offered after all, not taken ….. Mine is given to you Sir, do with it what you will, and as you wish! ❤

Love You Always Sir ❤


Effective communication ….

nijntje & The Bear

One of the major components of our D/s relationship is honest and effective communicating of wants and needs on both sides. It would be nice to say there were no issues that needed resolving but that would be unrealistic and false. The only time I have known people in close relationships to have absolutely no issues big or small was when they stopped caring.

As human beings we are bound to have differences of opinions or desires from time to time regardless of how much we care for or want to please each other. So as a submissive how best do you communicate those needs/issues with your Dominant? I do mean how best because it is important that you do! Any Dominant who does not want to hear your true thoughts or feelings on an issue that is bothering you that much probably doesn’t deserve the title. Quite the opposite…

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