Recently I have had just a little bit more time on my hands. This has allowed for a bit more web surfing and I’m finding a couple of sites to follow, a couple of sites to check back on and just reading up on the point of view of others. Slowly but surely some pieces of the bigger puzzle are coming together for me …
I’ve never been overly needy and I have more than enough patience to go around. I’m not one to shy away from issues that need to be taken care of and through patience and love from Sir I have become quite comfortable telling Him what I think and need. I’m very good at taking care of myself (most of the time) and really don’t dwell on what I wish I had, I’m more of an in the moment and finding the good type person ….
So sometimes things that would really be helpful to me/us are simply not on my radar because I don’t really realize that they are not being used to the fullest potential in the first place. One of these such things are rituals or tasks set out by the dominant simply to have the submissive follow through and be reminded of who calls the shots.
These things don’t need to be elaborate or time-consuming even, just specific and directed by the dominant. Let’s face it, not all of us have an entire day to dedicate to performing kinky or ritualistic tasks just for the sake of performing them …. It’s just not feasible.
Many times I think the tasks are set out in a kinky/sexual nature which makes sense to me because first they are not a punishment and shouldn’t feel burdensome or bad (I don’t think) and secondly most of them involve some sort of personal, intrusive act which certainly heightens the feeling of being taken and submissiveness. I don’t think these are the only tasks used or that should be used, I just think that they are some of the most effective in a short period of time.
Other tasks that are very effective are ones that require the submissive to be stripped naked adding to a sense of vulnerable exposure, even when alone. Basically anything that is just outside of your comfort zone and would be considered personal is likely going to go a long way in affecting your mindset once you get yourself into position and start thinking about what you are doing and who for.
Another key aspect of these tasks is that they need to be specifically called for by the dominant in order to have the greatest impact on the mind. I constantly perform tasks (that are not kinky) that are specifically to please Sir but I don’t feel that they have the same depth of submissive mindset as the times He specifically asks for them to be done.
I think this just turned into a very long-winded way of saying that when I read about submissives wishing and hoping for more rules,rituals and structure what they are saying is that they wish to feel something more directly connected to their dominant. They want to feel the soft, calm and complete feeling of belonging they get when they are following instructions and being ‘good’.
I don’t think we want to guess and be unsure, we want to know it pleases you, and that you are paying attention, and that you do care and it does matter … we matter. Tasks that bring our minds into focus allow us to feel a connection with you, even when you are not here, even when we are not playing, even when life is crazy … We don’t want to feel we have decided, we want to feel you have!
As a dominant you have the ability to take and assert yourself whenever you feel the need to connect to your dominant energy, but as a submissive we either wait patiently, or we need to speak up, which in a lot of cases starts to feel like we’re not actually following, not submitting. (I’m not saying that’s true, it’s just what it can feel like at times.) Especially when we are already feeling the need for connection.
I guess what I’m thinking is that perhaps as a dominant you might not feel the need for small tasks and rituals as often because you can have your connection when you want/need it … but as a submissive I think the need might be just a bit greater, and maybe kinky tasks aren’t just a matter of sex drive and training after all ….
The more intrusive/risqué the more vulnerable, and the more vulnerable the more submissive making … but any task specifically asked for will further our connection to our submissive self, or so I think ….
I’m always secure in my connection with you Sir but I won’t deny that the times you leave tasks to accomplish make me more mindful and connected than ever.
It’s similar to the feelings brought out through BDSM only on a different scale, for me anyway.
Love You Always Sir ❤